Post by Happy Noodle Boy on Aug 17, 2010 20:17:25 GMT -7
Johnny the Homicidal Maniac was at his decrepit desk, working furiously. Several panels later, and a bunch of crumpled paper, there was a new Happy Noodle Boy comic....thing. The stick figure stood on top of giant mail box, a sickly bright sun shining down on the town. His stick arms were raised to the sky, and on his stick hands were.....hams?
"FEAR MY FISTS OF HAM MEAT MONKEYS! YOU!" He leaped down from his station and charged after a dog that just urinated on a yellow fire hydrant. "FISTS OF HAM! OHHHHH!!!" He waved the hammy fists at the dog, which at first seemed shocked then vaguely interested before leaping up and clamping his jaws on one of the hams. "AHA! NEW FOULS! CHICKEN IS NO MORE! DOG BEATS HAM! EXTRA, EXTRA!" Triumphant, the Noodley stick figure ran down the middle of the road with 2 hams on his fists, and a dog hanging off one. He flailed his stick arm and the dog at passing cars, ignoring the strange glances from onlookers. "USURPERS! POUNDING MEAT DRUMS IN YOU EARS! HAZZAH!" One of the cars slowed, stopping at a red light. The stick figure took this opportunity to jump onto the car's hood and peer menacingly into the windshield. Banging on the glass with the hammy fists, dog included, he continued to rant and scream at the top of his stick lungs. "WINDYSHIELDS OF DOOM, YIELD TO MY HAM FISTS OR FACE THE DOOM OF THE LIGHTS! YELLOW, GREEN, THERE'S NO RED! YIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The driver of the vehicle turned on his windshield wipers, which promptly scared the stick figure, ham fists, dog, and all off the car and into a tree near the road side.
"THIS WILL NOT BE THE END! OUCH! MAGGOTS AND ROLLS! SOMEONE BUTTER MY DOG!" Though no clouds were drawn in the sky, a bolt of lightning struck the tree with the stick figure, breaking the branch. The stick figure, ham fists, and dog fell to the ground in a heap of pig stench. The branch followed, landing squarely on the stick figure, breaking him clean in two. "FUCK! I WANTED PIG SLIPPERS!"
"FEAR MY FISTS OF HAM MEAT MONKEYS! YOU!" He leaped down from his station and charged after a dog that just urinated on a yellow fire hydrant. "FISTS OF HAM! OHHHHH!!!" He waved the hammy fists at the dog, which at first seemed shocked then vaguely interested before leaping up and clamping his jaws on one of the hams. "AHA! NEW FOULS! CHICKEN IS NO MORE! DOG BEATS HAM! EXTRA, EXTRA!" Triumphant, the Noodley stick figure ran down the middle of the road with 2 hams on his fists, and a dog hanging off one. He flailed his stick arm and the dog at passing cars, ignoring the strange glances from onlookers. "USURPERS! POUNDING MEAT DRUMS IN YOU EARS! HAZZAH!" One of the cars slowed, stopping at a red light. The stick figure took this opportunity to jump onto the car's hood and peer menacingly into the windshield. Banging on the glass with the hammy fists, dog included, he continued to rant and scream at the top of his stick lungs. "WINDYSHIELDS OF DOOM, YIELD TO MY HAM FISTS OR FACE THE DOOM OF THE LIGHTS! YELLOW, GREEN, THERE'S NO RED! YIELD!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The driver of the vehicle turned on his windshield wipers, which promptly scared the stick figure, ham fists, dog, and all off the car and into a tree near the road side.
"THIS WILL NOT BE THE END! OUCH! MAGGOTS AND ROLLS! SOMEONE BUTTER MY DOG!" Though no clouds were drawn in the sky, a bolt of lightning struck the tree with the stick figure, breaking the branch. The stick figure, ham fists, and dog fell to the ground in a heap of pig stench. The branch followed, landing squarely on the stick figure, breaking him clean in two. "FUCK! I WANTED PIG SLIPPERS!"
