Spiritual Will (Willow)

[Willow Rosenberg]

Angel, Gunn, Fred, Lorne, Wesley, and the others still worked out of Wolfram & Hart for the most part, but they'd kept their claim on the Hyperion. Since occasionally the less savory members and factions of Wolfram & Hart would show up and cause something icky to stick around. Smuggling in artifacts that dealt with dark magicks, or doing dark magicks themselves. Even a few demons were summoned, all leaving residual energies in the Hyperion. As a favor to Angel, Willow stopped in once a month to cleanse the place. After all, even working from the inside, Angel couldn't prevent Wolfram & Hart from all their activities.

She started from the top and worked down, a bundle of sage burning in her right hand as she fanned the smoke with her left, she smudged each floor. The rooms, the halls, every doorway, all were being cleansed of negative energy. No harm could be caused due to the spell of Tranquility in place, a copy of that in Caritas. But the residual energy clung to the place, leaving a dark taint in every corner. She chanted as she smudged, focusing her will, her magick on purifying. "Let all impediments to grace, now be banished from this place. Red spirits and white, black spirits and gray, come ye, come ye, come ye that may. Around and about, through in and through out, the good keep in, and the ill keep out!"

As she descended the stairs, the sage still smoldering as she approached the first floor, she was nearly knocked over with the feeling of her soul mate. Her eyes closed and she stilled. She could feel Tara, smell her, her love's energy covering her, she could even taste her. "Tara, sweetie, I feel you , I know you're here. I love you so much. I'll always love you so much." There were always times when Willow felt Tara's presence. While working magicks especially, anything purifying. Much like she had when she'd tapped into the magick of the Slayer's Scythe through the power of the Goddess. Tara had been with her as much as Kennedy had. Tara was always with her.

As suddenly as the sensation had hit her, it left, leaving Willow feeling a bit hollow. Sighing, she started her descent again, heading to the lobby. She saw someone standing there, in the entrance, as she rounded the corner, and again, Tara's presence permeated her senses. Before she could greet the person, the other woman turned in Willow's direction. Tears sprung immediately to Willow's eyes. It was Tara. She was wearing the same top and jeans as she had when Warren....when Warren took her away. "Ta...Tara?" Willow dropped the sage bundle to the floor in shock, she stood staring at her love, her soul mate, her dead girlfriend, in the very image of how Willow had last seen her in those final moments. Those final, short, heart breaking moments. "Baby?" Her voice cracked a bit as the tears began to cascade down her cheeks. It wasn't the First, it wasn't a trick. The energy that came from Tara was truly hers, Willow would know it anywhere. She'd always been able to feel Tara.

[tara]

Tara had never truly left Willow. She had watched her, she had known what she had done to Warren and had not abandoned her then, she had whispered into her ear, knowing that she could not be heard but maybe felt, to listen to Xander when her magics had threatened to destroy the world, she had told her not to become that she had fought. She had also been with her during the spell with the scythe, Kennedy had had her place, Tara had not begrudged her that, but it was something that she had to be there for, that she had to hold Willow, however incorporeally for. She had only been able to watch and observe, but when one is watched by someone who loves them so fiercely, so completely, then there was always going to be an indication that they were there. Any number of nasties left their residual energies, but it was the special few that balanced it out, that could make their love known if only for a short time each time.

Purification, balancing energies, getting rid of malevolent ones, had always Tara’s line in magic, that Willow felt most connected to Tara when she cast those spells was perhaps not a surprise. Tara had helped her research some of them, and they always attracted her, her line of magic and her love together. She had not made her watching Willow exclusive to when she cast those spells, but it was something that would drag her attention from whatever it was on and that was the simple truth of it. Tara imagined that she had sent a spike of magic herself when she had wound up where she was, it had been an appeal over the heads, so to speak, of those that would not have allowed her to return, she had appealed to the Goddess through her connection, and to bring her into the here and now, in a body that should no longer exist, would have taken quite some power. That she was feeling a little drained told her that a lot of it must have come from her, the power of her spirit had been channelled into flesh and that flesh had been placed where it needed to be.

She was a little unsure of herself. Of course she did not know of the conviction that had brought her here, only that she must have felt very strongly about it, more so that she had caused herself to lose memories. She had looked around, not quite knowing what she was looking for, and who was here to be found, she knew only that Willow, or someone who could take her to her, had to be here. She heard the footfall on the stairs and she knew, that if a choice she made, she had made the right one, the only one. Emotions that she could not have felt fully when not in a corporeal form, love, the ache that told her that she had to be with Willow, contentment just to stare into her eyes, she was where she had to be.

The tears confused her for a moment and she glanced at her sleeve, it was then that she suddenly realised that she was wearing the same clothes that she had died in, her hand moved to her heart, finding the hole but no torn flesh beneath, she was whole, there was no blood on her shirt. She blushed just a touch, walking towards her love, “Willow. It…it is me.” The First had been defeated but it only ever licked its wounds, Tara knew what had to be a reasonable gut instinct anyone would make, except possibly her Willow but she needed to reassure her, and herself to a certain degree. She walked as steadily as she was able up the stairs, giving Willow a small, almost shy smile. She took a deep breath as she neared her, holding her hand out, she needed to touch, to be touched, to know that she was real as much as Willow would need to, her fingertips brushed Willow’s and she felt almost a charge between them as she whispered, “It was my turn to find you.” After all, for all of the promises that her sweetie, her willowtree had made that she would always find her, Tara had been somewhat out of reach.

[Willow Rosenberg]

Willow's eyes watered, she was powerless to stop the tears. They weren't of sadness so much, though a bit of that was there too. They were tears of joy, of confusion, and of fond remembrance. Her lip trembled, at the same time she smiled, the smile growing larger by the minute, the tears still falling, leaving wet trails down her cheeks. "Goddess." Willow whispered the word. So many thoughts raced through Willow's mind, and yet the very air was still, as if it was holding it's breath.

She felt as if she was floating as she walked slowly to Tara, her arms raising bit by bit, open to embrace her lost love. She was unblemished, perfect, a vision of beauty. The only pain, the only bit that stung Willow's heart was that Tara had been given form in the clothes she'd died in. But the clothes didn't matter. The wonderful, bright person inside them did. Tara. Willow's Tara. The first woman she'd ever loved so completely. Tara made her whole.

At the sound of Tara's voice, Willow's pace sped up. She rushed to Tara, wrapping the other woman in her arms. Willow's arm was wound around Tara's waist, her other draped over her shoulders, cradling Tara's head to her own. "I know. I know it's you baby." Willow breathed deeply, inhaling the sweet scent that was Tara's alone. It felt so right to have Tara in her arms, to be in Tara's arms. Goddess, how she'd missed this. Not wanting to break the embrace, nevertheless Willow needed to stare into her love's eyes. She pulled back, tucking a small section of Tara's golden hair behind her ear. She still clung to Tara, holding the other woman's arm, her hands gliding down to entwine with Tara's. She simply had to keep touching her, it had been so long.

"I've missed you sweetie. But I felt you. I thought about you every minute of every day. And I felt you, watching me, with me. But this....this I've missed so much. To be able to touch you." She wrapped herself around Tara again, kissing her cheeks, her nose, her forehead. She covered Tara's lovely face with small, soft kisses, her hands smoothing Tara's hair. "Tell me you get to stay. Tell me this is for real. Forever. They can't take you away again, not now. To let me touch you again, it's too cruel to take you away again. Tell me you're staying baby. The gods cannot be so cruel." Willow's mind ran rampant with questions, always with the questions, and yet she had to be rational. She had to make sure this was the real deal, that Tara was back, alive. Even if it was for a little while. Willow knew that they'd always be forever.

If Tara was here to deliver a message of an impending apocalypse or something equally as dire, Willow couldn't bare it. Please, please, PLEASE let this be a blessing. It is a blessing, a miracle. It has to be. Goddess, you cannot return her only to take her from me again. "How? Why? What happened? What changed that the Powers would bring you back? I tried. I tried to bring you back, baby. Osiris wouldn't. They wouldn't do it. And I....I went a little veiny. But, you know, you were there, with me. But how did you come back? Wait, it doesn't matter. You're here, that's what's important. Unless the how & why really matters. Does it matter? Is it a big bad coming? Or is this a gift from the Goddess?" Willow wasn't sure she could restrain herself if there was a catch to Tara's being here. She prayed it wasn't.

"No. It can't matter now. You matter now. You matter more to me than anything in this world. You always have." Willow's smile was so bright, it could have lit the room on it's own, regardless of the tears that still shimmered in her eyes. "I love you Tara. I love you forever." Thank you. Willow silently thanked the Powers That Be for this moment as she leaned in and claimed Tara's lips with hers. She kissed her love softly, passionately, and the floating sensation returned. Only this time, like once before, they were wrapped in each others arms, and neithers feet touched the floor. There, in the middle of the Hyperion, as it had been in the Bronze on Tara's birthday, the women hovered in the air, their lips sealed together.

[Willow Rosenberg]

Willow was in a state of complete bliss. This was heaven, this had to be. It had always felt like Heaven when she was in Tara's arms. She'd been in Hell when Tara was ripped away from her so violently. This was their second chance. "It's ok, sweetie. We'll work on it later. Fill in all the details. Right now, I just don't want to let go." She giggled, giving Tara a little squeeze. Of course Willow wanted all the answers, she always did. But most importantly, her fondest wish had just been granted. "I wanted you back too, I needed you just as much. I never let go of you, I always felt you. But this is the greatest thing....ever. Holding you."

Slowly, both women were lowered back to the ground, their feet landing softly. Willow's head fell back as she belted out a laugh. When she looked back to Tara, she still smiled. In fact, she hadn't been able to stop smiling. As she looked her love up and down, she remembered what it was that Tara was wearing. It made her smile fade just a tad. "Let me clean this up, and we can go up to my room. When I come out and do a cleansing for Angel, I get a free room here." Willow grinned, the tip of her tongue poking through her teeth. "I have my stuff here. I'm sure you want to, uh, change." She knew that Tara had to be a bit uncomfortable with coming back to life wearing the same jeans and shirt she'd died it. It was just...weird. At least Willow was used to weird by now. It was like eating breakfast. The weird came naturally. She wasn't always sure that was a good thing though. History had a tendency to prove that otherwise.

Willow wrapped Tara's hand in hers again, unable to part for a single second, even as she started gathering her supplies. "Whoops." As she bent down to pick up the discarded sage bundle, she noticed it had left a small scorch mark burned into the carpet. "Uh...maybe Angel won't notice." Thank the Goddess she hadn't started a fire. Maybe she could scrub the scorch mark out. Didn't Anya get the burn mark out of her carpet with they'd tried the demon locator spell and the map kinda caught fire. Willow still felt bad about that.

She dropped the sage bundle into a basket she used to keep the supplies she need for the cleansing in. There was a small bottle of sea salt she'd ground by hand, a tiny clay pentagram with purification herbs set upon it, the Doll's Eye crystal Tara had given her when they'd barely become friends, a large quartz crystal, and a few candles. She bent to blow out the candles, and got everything piled in her basket, never once letting go of Tara's hand, even when she had to stoop over to pick up some things. she slid her arm under the basket's handle, and lead Tara up the stairs to her room. Willow leaned her head on Tara's shoulder as they walked. "I can't wait to tell Buffy and the others. They'll be so happy to see you." She paused for a second, her step almost faltering. "Um, you are coming back to Sunnydale with me, right?" She didn't really have to ask, she already knew that Tara would come back with her. And that thought made her bright smile return.