Found the reasons why[p][Tag; Midian]

[Stryker Loup Garou]

Yawning, my body stretched out like putty as all my muscles worked furiously from their cramped space from sleeping. Slowly raising upwards, my eyes peered around the room which had become a habit after escaping my kidnapper and tormentor. Sucking back a deep breathe, throwing the covers easily off my frame, did I dart to the floor, only to tip toe through the cabin for fear of waking up the other occupants of the house. We had all come back for a few days, we meaning Arwen, Midian, Synge, Arya and myself. Syren knew that I wished to speak to Midian away from the clan, because I felt a little bit intimidated every time I tried to speak. Synge came because he was just as welcome to while Arwen did because this was her cabin. And my sister. Plus I tended to hang around her often for fear of being taken away and losing her. Arya came because she was my daughter, and after this little news I wanted to ask Midian, she would be needed. Kinda.

Continuing down the hallway, I stopped just outside the door leading into Arya's room, pushing my hand palm up as the door lightly swung open to allow entry. I breathed in relief at the small, sleeping figure curled beneath her blankets, carefully moving inside as not to wake her, giving her a small kiss on her forehead before heading back out. The rest would be awake soon, but I wanted Midian first and foremost. It was time I dealt with a few issues that I'd avoided ever since seeing them again. I didn't know of my true feelings, and hearing Synge speak about a shifter he could smell on his brother, there was envy inside of me. Having not realized until I'd spoken to Syren about it, I had arranged all of us to be at the cabin like old times, and perhaps it was able to keep me less nervous as the Luna Garou. Heading towards the stairs, I made my way down into the foyer area where I wrapped my arms tighter around my chest. All I wore were a tank top and boxers. I didn't feel much of the cold.

Not seeing anyone awake, I started chewing on my bottom lip, afraid to wake Midian in case all my fears were confirmed. Maybe he had found a mate, and maybe I was too broken and tainted to ever be considered a good mate. Instantly my hand twitched to my amulet, clutching it for strength while I made my way outside. I wouldn't go too far, simply out the front a few steps before sitting down on the top step itself. Glancing around the forest area, animals were just starting to wake. Rabbits frolicked in the grass while mice nibbled on nuts. Birds were starting to sing softly in the air while I myself closed my eyes. There was no denying the fact. I loved Midian. I'd always loved him, it was only now that I knew that I was in love with him. But, did he want me? He was the next in line to be Alpha, he would have no trouble finding a better suited mate than I. I cared little for his titles. I would love him even if he was a simple pack member. He was my best friend.

[Midian Loup Garou]

I yawned and rubbed my eyes, rolling out of bed. I sat on the side, running my hand through my hair and yawning again. I needed coffee. Since I didn't smell any brewing, I knew Arwen was still asleep. Guess I'd put some on myself. I pulled on the jeans laying on the floor by the bed and stumbled out to the kitchen. Fumbling around with the coffee, I managed to get most of it into the filter between yawns. I was still half asleep. Maybe the cool morning air of the forest would wake me up a little. Then after a cup of coffee I could actually function.

I pulled the pot out when there was just enough to fill a mug, the machine automatically pausing. It resumed brewing the fragrant beans as the pot slid back into place. Taking my coffee through the kitchen to the living room, I saw Stryker outside through one of the windows. A smile immediately came to my lips. She was so beautiful. I'd loved her for as long as I could remember. I'd mourned for her when we'd thought her dead. All those years she spent away from the pack, and I'd thought of her every day.

After all she went through, all the torment and torture during those long days and longer nights, I couldn't possibly tell her how much I cared for her. She'd always be my best girl, my best friend. Aside from Arwen and my little bro. But Stryker was something special. I didn't want to scare her by revealing my feeling. Surely the last thing she wanted was intimacy, not after all the shit she went through when she was held captive.

I set my mug down and poured another cup to take out to her. I filled hers with cream & sugar, just as she liked it. Retrieving my mug, I shoved my way out the door with both mugs. "Hey there. Care to have a cup of joe with an old friend?" I grinned at her, handing her a steaming mug as I leaned back against the porch railing. "It's beautiful out." I inhaled deeply, looking out over the cabin's surroundings. Of course, none of it was as beautiful as Stryker was. I'd love nothing more than to wake up every morning for the rest of my life to see her face. I just wasn't sure she'd be one to take the leap from friends to true mates. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to stand next to me. "So how's my best girl feeling this morning?"

[Stryker Loup Garou]

Always alone, I found myself with fantasies to entertain my thoughts. Earlier on in life those fantasies often were a coping mechanism, helping me escape the torment and abuse often thrown my way. Running with Arwen though wide open expanses, tackling Midian to the ground and rolling through fallen Autumn leaves, helping Synge collect things for later use, to cuddling up in front of the open fire with my parents. The last fantasy was always bittersweet. Getting back home to the Luna revealed many things. My mother and father were dead, and I always blamed myself for their deaths despite what everyone else would tell me. Syren and Cole became my surrogate parents, even as a child they were like another mom and dad. Little did I know that in the event of my parents passing, Syren and Cole would literally be parents to us and vice versa if anything happened to Syren and Cole, my own parents would take care of Synge and Midian.

Not to mention the newest one of the ever growing family. It shocked me that Amanda was supposed to be born into the Luna. It saddened me that she didn't, for we could have invited her to play with us when we were but pups. Least she was here with us now, untrusting at first but slowly, she was trusting others in the pack as much as her family. The aroma of coffee beans woke me from my persistant thoughts, inhaling deeply as the scent overpowered my brain. Aside from the coffee bean scent, another mixed in caught my breathe in my throat, my heart stopped beating, and my amulet to thrum against my chest. Before he even exited the cabin, I knew who he was, even as he spoke I chuckled softly, angling my head upwards to catch his own face, features dappled in the morning sunlight. "Of course. For you, anything." Feeling my jaw muscles work, my lips pulled into a grin as I grabbed the mug with both hands, lifting it to my lips and taking a drink of the hot, steaming liquid. Ah, I could taste the beans with cream and sugar; just the way I liked it. Midian knew me too well.

"Very beautiful." I agreed, heart beating rapidly beneath my rib cage as I struggled not to say words that I so deeply wanted. Feeling his arm wrap around me calmed my beating heart, pulled to my feet effortlessly as I was standing next to Midian, half turning my body so I could face him better. My hand closed around the mug, allowing me to have my other hand free as it touched his cheek, my eyes staring deep into his and I felt a calming wave filter through my body. "A little confused to be honest. Scared, nervous." I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted to wake up with him next to me, knowing I'd never be alone, never be hurt. I wanted him to be the father of Arya, who'd be perfect to help her hunt among other things. "There is one thing I know." I began, trying to find the words to explain my feelings. "Maybe I'm too broken, too tainted to even be considered-" I shook my head. No feeling sorry for myself before I even begun. Afterwards I could dwell on it, but now now.

"I love you Midian. I always have. Even when I was trapped I knew I loved you. The wolf inside never wanted me to give up hope that one day I'd be reunited with my sister, my family, my best friends, and my soul mate. You are my soul mate Midian. I know I'll never be harmed with you. I want to wake up everyday and see you. I want my daughter to call you her father, for you are perfect. And I never want to lose you." Maybe my amulet was aiding me with courage and calm waves, hearing its faint thrill as it warmed against my skin. Imbued with many magicks, it didn't surprise me what it could do, despite only having it back a mere matter of months. Not wanting to see his face, maybe he would reject me as a suitable mate, I instead wrapping my arm around his waist and held on tightly.

[Midian Loup Garou]

Her hair smelled like apples, and she had a sweet scent. It always reminded me of something like a dark honey. I smiled as her heart raced. I liked to think it was racing for me. But it could also be related to a leftover anxiety. She'd been put through hell, but came out of it, back to us, and stronger for it. I just hated to think that new found strength was related to abuse by a sadistic hunter.

"What are you scared of? You're safe with us. He's dead, he can't hurt you any more. And there's no possible way Arwen's letting you out of her sight." I laughed. "That goes for me too." Stryker being nervous with me at her side was a new one on me. I tucked her in a bit closer to me. I listened to her, but when she trailed off after saying something about being tainted I pulled back to look at her. "What the hell do you mean? You're not tainted. Don't think that, ever." I rubbed a lock of her hair between my fingers, my arm still draped across her shoulders.

There was no power on this earth that could stop the grin that spread across my face. Oh yeah, this was it. A dream come true. The woman of your dreams telling you she loves you. It doesn't get much better. I reached down, cupping her chin and raising her face so she could meet my eyes and see my smile. Our amulets began to glow, and the wind that always came with the Munin's presence encircled us. "Stryker, Lyra, if you don't know that I love you with all my heart by now.... You are my soul mate. I've known it all my life. When you were taken away from us, it broke my heart. It was like this huge, important piece of me was missing. The second I knew you were alive, safe, I wanted to kiss you like mad and never stop." I leaned in closer, my breath mingling with hers. "Just like this."

My lips claimed hers for a moment, and the Munin spun around us, a symbol of our truth, and the rightness of it. I broke the kiss, smiling into her beautiful eyes. "You and Arya are family, I've wanted nothing more than to be with you, and help you raise her. She's good pup, and cute as hell. She gets that from her mother." I winked at Stryker, my fingers in her hair, my palms cradling her cheeks. "Say you'll be my mate. I want to hear it. I think I need to. This is pretty surreal. As much as I've always wanted this, I never thought it would happen. Shit, I didn't know if I could keep it in much longer. Thank you for telling me. I should have told you sooner. I love you, I want to be with you and only you. You're my life, baby. You always have been." I smirked a bit. "And now, we both know it." I laughed with her, kissing her forehead. "I'll never hurt you, I'll always protect you. And you'll never lose me. You ain't getting rid of me easily babe, that's for sure. I'd be honored to raise Arya as my own. Just remember, I'm far from perfect. This will be my first go at parenting." I laughed again, giving her another wink. This was the best morning I'd had in a long time. Maybe ever.

[Stryker Loup Garou]

Safe; yes, I was safe in every sense of the word. My abuser was dead, killed by my own hand and paw and he could never harm me again except within my nightmares. He would need to hold power over me for that to happen and I wasn't about to give him any of it. "I know I'm safe; I've never felt safer than with you, Arwen, Synge, being here or at the Luna. Especially with you." I murmured, digging my head into his shoulder, feeling more than content to be near him. Despite what happened, taken off just outside the clan's borders, I didn't hate, nor despise, nor blame the clan for it in any way, shape or form. They didn't know what would happen to me. They were still family after all this time. I don't know how I would have coped without them, without my sister, without Midian.

"I won't." The promise slid from my lips, knowing it was true as they rang into the air. His hand cupped my chin, my eyes locking into his as I felt the familiar, aching thrum of my amulet alongside his. This was better than any dream, to hear his words, blinking as if I actually was dreaming, the shudder that pleasantly thrilled my body was like electricity. As his lips found mine, I found myself kissing him back. This wasn't like the abusers forceful kisses, but gentle. Still with force but there was love behind it, longing, a sense of peace, acceptance and finality. With the kiss breaking off I took a deep breathe, my entire senses were clouded with him and I couldn't be happier. Midian, he never had a mate even though he could have. Instead, he still loved me even though I'd gone through so much. To know I could still be loved like that meant the world to me. I didn't realize I was sobbing until I felt my chest heaving, feel the warm tears staining my cheeks.

"This is one of the happiest days of my life." Others included finding Arwen, well, she found me, family being reunited, finding my daughter. "Yes, of course I'll be your mate! I've always dreamed of it. I love you so much. And I know Arya adores you. No surprise there." I grin, feeling my chest almost burst. Still, he misunderstood me yet it clearly didn't matter. To him he was perfect, he had his flaws and he didn't act all high and mighty, to me, that made him perfect. If that made any sense. I know nobody is perfect. But he was to me, my other half. My soul mate. "I know you'll protect me. I've always felt safe with you. I'd love you to help raise Arya." I couldn't help but chuckle. "My first time too. You'll be a great Dad though; you're already halfway there." Feeling completely at ease, despite this declaration, I lean forwards and kiss his lips again. I loved him. And I would always love him.