Post by Jay on Jul 3, 2009 1:30:23 GMT -7
Yo, of course we're gonna be played by seperate people and shit, but I'm the CLIT MASTER that's gonna put up the bio... since the Fat Man doesn't really talk.
We are Jay, and Silent Bob. Completely Hetero Sexual Life-mates.
Age: Yo, I didn't know this was gonna require math and shit... we were born sometime in the 70s... anything more direct than that was lost several Joints ago.
Height/Weight: I am skinny and tall, and Tons O Fun here is short and wide.
Hair: I have luscious golden locks, and Fat Man has black hair in perpetual state of hat head.
Eyes: Mine are Blue, Bob's are Shit Brown Yo!
Character description: Of the duo, Jay usually takes the role of the leader, because Silent Bob, as his nickname suggests, seldom talks. Bob only speaks to deliver insightful monologues to the other characters, which he does very rarely, and only in appropriate situations. Otherwise, he relies on hand gestures and facial expressions to communicate, with the occasional exception of quiet, muffled laughter.
Silent Bob's distinguishing features are his heavy smoking, long coat often with a blank pin (a homage to Grant Morrison's "The Invisibles"), and backwards baseball cap.
Jay's distinguishing feature is his long blond hair. In several of the later View Askewniverse films Jay wears a black tuque, which has also become a well-known feature.
Silent Bob was raised Catholic and is an electrical genius; he often appears to be the more clean-minded or intelligent of the two and when he does speak, he often has something profound or intelligent to say. Nevertheless, he remains almost as foul-minded and foul-mouthed as Jay.
Jay is loud mouthed, and hardly ever shuts up.
Persuasion: We are bad boys that do good things in our own odd way.
Type of Creature: Comic Relief
Powers: We have the power of the BONG YO!
History:
Clerks, released in 1994, is the first film to feature Jay and Silent Bob. In the View Askewniverse continuity, its events take place the day after Mallrats. Jay and Silent Bob return to their primary business location in front of Quick Stop. Throughout the day, they are seen dancing, loitering, and harassing passersby. Silent Bob enters the store to buy powdered sugar while Jay goes inside to steal food. They also deal marijuana to various pedestrians (including Willam Black), much to the chagrin of Quick Stop clerk Dante Hicks.
The end credits of Clerks contained a reference to the return of Jay & Silent Bob in Dogma.
Although it was filmed one year later, the events in Mallrats, released in 1995, occur one day prior to the events in Clerks. In the film, Jay and Silent Bob are busy loitering at the Eden Prairie Center Mall. There they are met by Brodie (Jason Lee) and T.S. (Jeremy London), who have broken up with their girlfriends - Rene (Shannen Doherty) and Brandi (Claire Forlani), respectively - earlier that day. As fate would have it, a local game show called "Truth or Date", which is set to feature Brandi, is to be filmed at the mall that day. Brodie asks Jay and Silent Bob to make sure that the show doesn't happen, and Jay says they were going to destroy the stage anyway, for lack of anything better to do.
They make several attempts to destroy the stage, but ultimately fail. Later, however, they successfully help Brodie and T.S. win back their girlfriends. Jay incapacitates the male contestants on "Truth or Date" by getting them stoned, which allows Brodie and T.S. to take their places. Silent Bob overrides the production's video input, allowing him to play a video tape of Rene's new boyfriend, Shannon Hamilton (Ben Affleck), having sex with a minor. The movie concludes with Brodie and T.S. each reconciling their respective relationships, and Jay and Silent Bob walk off into the distance with an orangutan named Susanne (the same one from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).
In this movie, we also find out that Silent Bob is an electronics genius and won a science fair in 8th Grade by turning his mother's vibrator into a CD Player by using "chicken wire and shit".
Chasing Amy, released in 1997, reveals that in the years since the events of Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob have found out about likeness rights that comic book artists Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) and Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) use, the two artists created a popular independent comic book series entitled Bluntman and Chronic which stars the duo.
This film centers around Holden's romantic relationship with Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams), a self-identified lesbian. Though their love is initially strong, the relationship begins to deteriorate due to Holden's discovery of Alyssa's past. Towards the end of the film, Jay and Silent Bob meet Holden to accept their likeness rights payment, and during this meeting Silent Bob relates with Holden's situation, and tells him the story of his former girlfriend, Amy.
Silent Bob explains, in his longest speech to date, that he once dated a girl named Amy, and much like in Holden's relationship with Alyssa, he became disturbed at the revelation of Amy's sexual past, specifically the fact that she engaged in a threesome. Upon discovering this, he broke up with her only to realize, much later, that he was wrong. He was not angry at her; rather, he felt small and insecure, as if he would never be enough given his lack of experience. But by the time he realized this, it was too late, and she had moved on. He has since spent his life "Chasing Amy", so to speak.
Inspired by Silent Bob's story, Holden devises a plan to fix his relationship with Alyssa, but it is too late. After passing the reins of power over the Bluntman and Chronic comic, Holden thereafter creates a new comic named Chasing Amy, based on the relationship.
After their disappointing adventure to the fictional Shermer, Illinois (the events of which are chronicled in the comic book story "Chasing Dogma"), the events in Dogma, released in 1999, take place. Jay and Silent Bob decide to go back home to New Jersey. Before they leave, they meet Bethany Sloane (Linda Fiorentino), an abortion clinic worker who has lost her faith in God.
Though she herself is unaware of the fact, Bethany is the last living relative of Jesus. She has been charged with the holy quest of stopping two fallen angels, Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon), from entering a church in New Jersey. The two angels were expelled from Heaven after Loki gave God the finger; they realize that they can exploit a doctrinal loophole and get back into heaven if they lose their wings and then die by some means other than suicide. Bartleby reasons that entering the church in New Jersey will automatically forgive all of their sins, allowing them to return to Heaven. Though they don't know it, if the two were to return to heaven this way, they would overturn God's decision, thus "proving God wrong" and unmaking all of existence. The Metatron (Alan Rickman) tells Bethany that she is to follow two people who refer to themselves as "prophets". This turns out to be Jay and Silent Bob, who rescue Bethany from her attackers. She believes they are the prophets by Jay's statement that he "could have stayed in Jersey and at least made himself a profit". Though initially only interested in sex, Jay and Silent Bob agree to let her come with them. The three begin their journey encountering an apostle, a former muse, and a host of demons on the way. Silent Bob also makes a seldom speech, using it as a comical speech, after throwing the rebel angels off a moving train, then being awkwardly stared at by a shocked and confused train patron. ("No ticket", a reference to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).
Jay and Silent Bob fill out their roles as prophets, predicting the arrival of Rufus (Chris Rock), the thirteenth apostle, who was left out of the Bible because he was black; leading them to Serendipity (Salma Hayek) the former muse; coming up with an idea of how to stop the angels; Jay reveals the location of God ("John Doe Jersey"); and ultimately, though inadvertently, providing Bethany the solution to preventing Armageddon.
Once at the church, Jay and Silent Bob, along with the others, try to stop the angels from entering. Loki has a change of heart and tries to help them out, but gets killed in the process by Bartleby. Though their efforts to fight Bartleby are unsuccessful (in fact, Jay accidentally helps Bartleby out by shooting his wings off with a MAC-10, turning him to a mortal), God (Alanis Morissette) arrives, and proceeds to set things in order. The movie ends with Jay suggesting that he and Silent Bob take Bethany to the Quick Stop.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, released in 2001, takes place nearly ten years after the events of Clerks. Due to their excessive noise-making and drug dealing, Randal Graves gets a restraining order against Jay and Silent Bob that prohibits them from coming within one hundred feet of the Quick Stop or RST Video. Having no place to go loiter at, they decide to pay a visit to Brodie (Jason Lee). There they learn that Miramax Films is making a "Bluntman and Chronic" movie. Brodie tells them they should go see Holden McNeil, co-creator of the characters, and ask for the money that belongs to them for using their likenesses in the film.
They visit Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck), only to find out that he has sold his half of the rights to "Bluntman and Chronic" to the other co-creator, Banky Edwards (Jason Lee). Holden introduces them to the internet, where they discover that a number of people have bashed the upcoming movie and insulted Jay and Silent Bob numerous times. No longer concerned with the money, Jay and Silent Bob decide that they must defend their honor, and embark on a trip to Hollywood to stop the movie from being made and save their reputations.
After being kicked off of a bus for not having tickets, they decide to hitchhike there. Unable to hitch a ride, they learn from another hitchhiker (George Carlin) that, according to the Unwritten Book of the Road, they are expected to give oral sex in exchange for a ride. After being picked up by a nun (Carrie Fisher), Jay misconstrues her references to the Bible (or "the Book" as she calls it) as a request for oral sex. This miscommunication results in them being kicked out of the vehicle, left to hitchhike once again.
The next vehicle to offer a ride is the Mystery Machine, where our heroes run afoul of the gang from Scooby-Doo (an incident that turns out to be merely a dream-sequence). At last Jay and Silent Bob stop at a local Mooby's restaurant whereupon Jay falls victim to love at first sight: the object of his attention is Justice (Shannon Elizabeth), an international jewel thief posing as an animal rights activist. Justice offers them a ride under the pretense that they are traveling cross country to release animals from an animal testing facility, much to the chagrin of her partners Chrissy (Ali Larter), Missy (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith), and Sissy (Eliza Dushku).
Also with them is a genuine animal rights activist (Seann William Scott), who becomes the target of Jay's aggression, as he sees him as a barrier to getting with Justice. After tricking him into saying he that he would have sex with a sheep, Jay ejects the naive tag-along from the vehicle. Having lost their patsy, the jewel thieves are forced to use Jay and Silent Bob instead, convincing them to steal an ape from an animal testing facility as a diversion for when they break into the Colorado Diamond Exchange.
Once inside the facility, Jay and Silent Bob find a tranquilizer gun and the ape, an orangutan named Suzanne. After springing her from her cage, Silent Bob becomes sympathetic for the other animals, so they let them loose as well. In the mean time, Missy, Chrissie, Sissy, and Justice escape with the diamonds and place a bomb on the van. Jay and Silent Bob witness the van explode, and assume that Justice is dead. They manage to escape just as the authorities arrive.
Federal Wildlife Marshall Willenholly (Will Ferrell) arrives to take over the case, as it involves the release of animals. He tracks Jay, Silent Bob and Suzanne to a small diner. However, Jay, Silent Bob, and Suzanne are able to escape, as they convince Willenholly that they are actually a homosexual couple, and that Suzanne is their love child. Willenholly eventually discovers the ruse, and gives chase, but they escape.
Suzanne is subsequently taken by the occupants of a car labeled “Critters of Hollywood.” Jay laments that they will never see Suzanne again, only to have Silent Bob explain that the sign on the car indicated that they will probably meet up with her in Hollywood.
They are eventually able to hitch a ride and make it to Hollywood. There they evade a security guard (Diedrich Bader) and make their way through multiple movie sets, including Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season. They are reunited with Suzanne on the set of Scream 4, where Suzanne is playing the part of a masked killer. Pursued by a group of security guards, they are able to escape by riding a bicycle over a ramp (a visual reference to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial), propelling them through the window of a nearby building.
By sheer luck, they land in the dressing room of James Van Der Beek (of Dawson's Creek) and Jason Biggs (of American Pie), who happen to be playing Jay and Silent Bob in The Bluntman and Chronic Movie. Silent Bob is somewhat upset that his comic-book counterpart is being played by the "pie fucker".
After learning this, Jay and Bob form a huddle in the corner and decide to beat up Biggs and Van Der Beek, but while their backs are turned Suzanne does this for them. Jay and Silent Bob then give the monkey the tranquilizer gun and set her loose in the ventilation ducts. They put on the Bluntman and Chronic outfits, so they won't be noticed, but are mistaken for Biggs and Van Der Beek, and are escorted to the set of the "Bluntman and Chronic" movie. Despite the fact that they do not know what they are doing, once on set, filming begins. Jay and Silent Bob battle with Bluntman and Chronic's arch nemesis, Cockknocker (Mark Hamill), eventually cutting off his hand (in reference to Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back).
At this point, Justice enters the set to confess her love for Jay and admits her profession as a professional jewel thief. A nonchalant Jay forgives her and they kiss. Willenholly reappears with a shotgun, soon followed by Missy, Chrissy and Sissy. Justice and Sissy fight hand to hand, while Missy and Chrissy get into a gun battle with Willenholly. During the commotion, Jay and Silent Bob locate Banky Edwards and demand their money. After Banky refuses, Silent Bob breaks his silence and explains why Banky can be sued if he doesn't acquiesce to their demands. Banky finally agrees to give them half of whatever he makes from the movie.
After the fighting is over, Willenholly stands up, believing he killed Missy and Chrissy. Suzanne takes this opportunity to shoot him in the buttocks with a tranquilizer dart, incapacitating him. Justice uses the situation to her advantage and offers Willeholly an opportunity to get into the FBI by turning herself in along with Missy, Sissy, and Chrissy as long as she gets a reduced sentence and the charges against Jay and Silent Bob are dropped. He agrees and Justice tells Jay to wait for her. Banky approaches Jay and Silent Bob and tells them that they are now rich. Jay expresses his displeasure at the fact that, despite all of their efforts, they were still unable to stop the internet insults. They decide that the only way to achieve this is to beat up everyone who has insulted them, which they do.
After their revenge is complete, The Bluntman and Chronic Movie premiers back in New Jersey. One viewer refers to it as "a 90-minute long gay joke, like watching Batman & Robin all over again." After the big premier, Jay and Silent Bob put on a huge after-party with Morris Day and the Time providing entertainment.
Ten years after Clerks, and only several months after the events in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, released in 2006, takes place. Now in their early 30s, Jay and Silent Bob had recently bought a car, but they were pulled over for driving with a deployed airbag. During the search, the police found a stash of marijuana and they were sentenced to six months of rehabilitation, where they become devout sober Christians.
Once out of rehab, they are clean, but they humorously still continue to deal but try to teach the word of God similar to evangelists. The Quick Stop that Dante worked at was burned down in a fire due to Randal leaving the coffee pot on, and he and Randal moved over to the Mooby's fast food restaurant. Jay and Silent Bob follow them there, and are up to their usual antics, such as dealing drugs and mooning people inside of the restaurant.
At one point during the movie Jay, knowing boredom is the first step to relapse, dances to the song "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus after Silent Bob puts it in the CD player. He parodies the exact same dance done by Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs, complete with the "tuck."
Near the end of the movie, they are jailed with Randal, Dante, and Elias, who hired a donkey show to celebrate Dante moving away. Jay and Silent Bob were charged for possession of drugs, which violated their probation. Randal has the idea to reopen the Quick Stop with Dante, but neither of them have the money, so Jay and Silent Bob offered them the Bluntman and Chronic movie royalty money they earned that will be needed to reopen the store. They lay down two conditions: they must be allowed to stand in front of the store whenever they want to (without having the police called on them), and Randal and Dante must perform oral sex and then go "ass to mouth". Regarding the latter condition, Silent Bob gives Jay a look of disgust, so Jay immediately rescinds it. After the Quick Stop is reopened, Jay and Silent Bob return right back where they started so many years ago. Jay is depicted at the end of the film wearing a sweater with "Justice" written on it in tape along with "TLF", the only reference to his erstwhile girlfriend at the end of the previous film. He again does the Buffalo Bill dance when "Goodbye, Horses" is played, but only the beginning part with the chap stick is shown.
Character is from: Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, They were in a Clerks Cartoon, and they had their own Comicbook for Bluntman and Chronic.
We are Jay, and Silent Bob. Completely Hetero Sexual Life-mates.
Age: Yo, I didn't know this was gonna require math and shit... we were born sometime in the 70s... anything more direct than that was lost several Joints ago.
Height/Weight: I am skinny and tall, and Tons O Fun here is short and wide.
Hair: I have luscious golden locks, and Fat Man has black hair in perpetual state of hat head.
Eyes: Mine are Blue, Bob's are Shit Brown Yo!
Character description: Of the duo, Jay usually takes the role of the leader, because Silent Bob, as his nickname suggests, seldom talks. Bob only speaks to deliver insightful monologues to the other characters, which he does very rarely, and only in appropriate situations. Otherwise, he relies on hand gestures and facial expressions to communicate, with the occasional exception of quiet, muffled laughter.
Silent Bob's distinguishing features are his heavy smoking, long coat often with a blank pin (a homage to Grant Morrison's "The Invisibles"), and backwards baseball cap.
Jay's distinguishing feature is his long blond hair. In several of the later View Askewniverse films Jay wears a black tuque, which has also become a well-known feature.
Silent Bob was raised Catholic and is an electrical genius; he often appears to be the more clean-minded or intelligent of the two and when he does speak, he often has something profound or intelligent to say. Nevertheless, he remains almost as foul-minded and foul-mouthed as Jay.
Jay is loud mouthed, and hardly ever shuts up.
Persuasion: We are bad boys that do good things in our own odd way.
Type of Creature: Comic Relief
Powers: We have the power of the BONG YO!
History:
Clerks, released in 1994, is the first film to feature Jay and Silent Bob. In the View Askewniverse continuity, its events take place the day after Mallrats. Jay and Silent Bob return to their primary business location in front of Quick Stop. Throughout the day, they are seen dancing, loitering, and harassing passersby. Silent Bob enters the store to buy powdered sugar while Jay goes inside to steal food. They also deal marijuana to various pedestrians (including Willam Black), much to the chagrin of Quick Stop clerk Dante Hicks.
The end credits of Clerks contained a reference to the return of Jay & Silent Bob in Dogma.
Although it was filmed one year later, the events in Mallrats, released in 1995, occur one day prior to the events in Clerks. In the film, Jay and Silent Bob are busy loitering at the Eden Prairie Center Mall. There they are met by Brodie (Jason Lee) and T.S. (Jeremy London), who have broken up with their girlfriends - Rene (Shannen Doherty) and Brandi (Claire Forlani), respectively - earlier that day. As fate would have it, a local game show called "Truth or Date", which is set to feature Brandi, is to be filmed at the mall that day. Brodie asks Jay and Silent Bob to make sure that the show doesn't happen, and Jay says they were going to destroy the stage anyway, for lack of anything better to do.
They make several attempts to destroy the stage, but ultimately fail. Later, however, they successfully help Brodie and T.S. win back their girlfriends. Jay incapacitates the male contestants on "Truth or Date" by getting them stoned, which allows Brodie and T.S. to take their places. Silent Bob overrides the production's video input, allowing him to play a video tape of Rene's new boyfriend, Shannon Hamilton (Ben Affleck), having sex with a minor. The movie concludes with Brodie and T.S. each reconciling their respective relationships, and Jay and Silent Bob walk off into the distance with an orangutan named Susanne (the same one from Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).
In this movie, we also find out that Silent Bob is an electronics genius and won a science fair in 8th Grade by turning his mother's vibrator into a CD Player by using "chicken wire and shit".
Chasing Amy, released in 1997, reveals that in the years since the events of Clerks, Jay and Silent Bob have found out about likeness rights that comic book artists Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck) and Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) use, the two artists created a popular independent comic book series entitled Bluntman and Chronic which stars the duo.
This film centers around Holden's romantic relationship with Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams), a self-identified lesbian. Though their love is initially strong, the relationship begins to deteriorate due to Holden's discovery of Alyssa's past. Towards the end of the film, Jay and Silent Bob meet Holden to accept their likeness rights payment, and during this meeting Silent Bob relates with Holden's situation, and tells him the story of his former girlfriend, Amy.
Silent Bob explains, in his longest speech to date, that he once dated a girl named Amy, and much like in Holden's relationship with Alyssa, he became disturbed at the revelation of Amy's sexual past, specifically the fact that she engaged in a threesome. Upon discovering this, he broke up with her only to realize, much later, that he was wrong. He was not angry at her; rather, he felt small and insecure, as if he would never be enough given his lack of experience. But by the time he realized this, it was too late, and she had moved on. He has since spent his life "Chasing Amy", so to speak.
Inspired by Silent Bob's story, Holden devises a plan to fix his relationship with Alyssa, but it is too late. After passing the reins of power over the Bluntman and Chronic comic, Holden thereafter creates a new comic named Chasing Amy, based on the relationship.
After their disappointing adventure to the fictional Shermer, Illinois (the events of which are chronicled in the comic book story "Chasing Dogma"), the events in Dogma, released in 1999, take place. Jay and Silent Bob decide to go back home to New Jersey. Before they leave, they meet Bethany Sloane (Linda Fiorentino), an abortion clinic worker who has lost her faith in God.
Though she herself is unaware of the fact, Bethany is the last living relative of Jesus. She has been charged with the holy quest of stopping two fallen angels, Bartleby (Ben Affleck) and Loki (Matt Damon), from entering a church in New Jersey. The two angels were expelled from Heaven after Loki gave God the finger; they realize that they can exploit a doctrinal loophole and get back into heaven if they lose their wings and then die by some means other than suicide. Bartleby reasons that entering the church in New Jersey will automatically forgive all of their sins, allowing them to return to Heaven. Though they don't know it, if the two were to return to heaven this way, they would overturn God's decision, thus "proving God wrong" and unmaking all of existence. The Metatron (Alan Rickman) tells Bethany that she is to follow two people who refer to themselves as "prophets". This turns out to be Jay and Silent Bob, who rescue Bethany from her attackers. She believes they are the prophets by Jay's statement that he "could have stayed in Jersey and at least made himself a profit". Though initially only interested in sex, Jay and Silent Bob agree to let her come with them. The three begin their journey encountering an apostle, a former muse, and a host of demons on the way. Silent Bob also makes a seldom speech, using it as a comical speech, after throwing the rebel angels off a moving train, then being awkwardly stared at by a shocked and confused train patron. ("No ticket", a reference to Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade).
Jay and Silent Bob fill out their roles as prophets, predicting the arrival of Rufus (Chris Rock), the thirteenth apostle, who was left out of the Bible because he was black; leading them to Serendipity (Salma Hayek) the former muse; coming up with an idea of how to stop the angels; Jay reveals the location of God ("John Doe Jersey"); and ultimately, though inadvertently, providing Bethany the solution to preventing Armageddon.
Once at the church, Jay and Silent Bob, along with the others, try to stop the angels from entering. Loki has a change of heart and tries to help them out, but gets killed in the process by Bartleby. Though their efforts to fight Bartleby are unsuccessful (in fact, Jay accidentally helps Bartleby out by shooting his wings off with a MAC-10, turning him to a mortal), God (Alanis Morissette) arrives, and proceeds to set things in order. The movie ends with Jay suggesting that he and Silent Bob take Bethany to the Quick Stop.
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, released in 2001, takes place nearly ten years after the events of Clerks. Due to their excessive noise-making and drug dealing, Randal Graves gets a restraining order against Jay and Silent Bob that prohibits them from coming within one hundred feet of the Quick Stop or RST Video. Having no place to go loiter at, they decide to pay a visit to Brodie (Jason Lee). There they learn that Miramax Films is making a "Bluntman and Chronic" movie. Brodie tells them they should go see Holden McNeil, co-creator of the characters, and ask for the money that belongs to them for using their likenesses in the film.
They visit Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck), only to find out that he has sold his half of the rights to "Bluntman and Chronic" to the other co-creator, Banky Edwards (Jason Lee). Holden introduces them to the internet, where they discover that a number of people have bashed the upcoming movie and insulted Jay and Silent Bob numerous times. No longer concerned with the money, Jay and Silent Bob decide that they must defend their honor, and embark on a trip to Hollywood to stop the movie from being made and save their reputations.
After being kicked off of a bus for not having tickets, they decide to hitchhike there. Unable to hitch a ride, they learn from another hitchhiker (George Carlin) that, according to the Unwritten Book of the Road, they are expected to give oral sex in exchange for a ride. After being picked up by a nun (Carrie Fisher), Jay misconstrues her references to the Bible (or "the Book" as she calls it) as a request for oral sex. This miscommunication results in them being kicked out of the vehicle, left to hitchhike once again.
The next vehicle to offer a ride is the Mystery Machine, where our heroes run afoul of the gang from Scooby-Doo (an incident that turns out to be merely a dream-sequence). At last Jay and Silent Bob stop at a local Mooby's restaurant whereupon Jay falls victim to love at first sight: the object of his attention is Justice (Shannon Elizabeth), an international jewel thief posing as an animal rights activist. Justice offers them a ride under the pretense that they are traveling cross country to release animals from an animal testing facility, much to the chagrin of her partners Chrissy (Ali Larter), Missy (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith), and Sissy (Eliza Dushku).
Also with them is a genuine animal rights activist (Seann William Scott), who becomes the target of Jay's aggression, as he sees him as a barrier to getting with Justice. After tricking him into saying he that he would have sex with a sheep, Jay ejects the naive tag-along from the vehicle. Having lost their patsy, the jewel thieves are forced to use Jay and Silent Bob instead, convincing them to steal an ape from an animal testing facility as a diversion for when they break into the Colorado Diamond Exchange.
Once inside the facility, Jay and Silent Bob find a tranquilizer gun and the ape, an orangutan named Suzanne. After springing her from her cage, Silent Bob becomes sympathetic for the other animals, so they let them loose as well. In the mean time, Missy, Chrissie, Sissy, and Justice escape with the diamonds and place a bomb on the van. Jay and Silent Bob witness the van explode, and assume that Justice is dead. They manage to escape just as the authorities arrive.
Federal Wildlife Marshall Willenholly (Will Ferrell) arrives to take over the case, as it involves the release of animals. He tracks Jay, Silent Bob and Suzanne to a small diner. However, Jay, Silent Bob, and Suzanne are able to escape, as they convince Willenholly that they are actually a homosexual couple, and that Suzanne is their love child. Willenholly eventually discovers the ruse, and gives chase, but they escape.
Suzanne is subsequently taken by the occupants of a car labeled “Critters of Hollywood.” Jay laments that they will never see Suzanne again, only to have Silent Bob explain that the sign on the car indicated that they will probably meet up with her in Hollywood.
They are eventually able to hitch a ride and make it to Hollywood. There they evade a security guard (Diedrich Bader) and make their way through multiple movie sets, including Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season. They are reunited with Suzanne on the set of Scream 4, where Suzanne is playing the part of a masked killer. Pursued by a group of security guards, they are able to escape by riding a bicycle over a ramp (a visual reference to E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial), propelling them through the window of a nearby building.
By sheer luck, they land in the dressing room of James Van Der Beek (of Dawson's Creek) and Jason Biggs (of American Pie), who happen to be playing Jay and Silent Bob in The Bluntman and Chronic Movie. Silent Bob is somewhat upset that his comic-book counterpart is being played by the "pie fucker".
After learning this, Jay and Bob form a huddle in the corner and decide to beat up Biggs and Van Der Beek, but while their backs are turned Suzanne does this for them. Jay and Silent Bob then give the monkey the tranquilizer gun and set her loose in the ventilation ducts. They put on the Bluntman and Chronic outfits, so they won't be noticed, but are mistaken for Biggs and Van Der Beek, and are escorted to the set of the "Bluntman and Chronic" movie. Despite the fact that they do not know what they are doing, once on set, filming begins. Jay and Silent Bob battle with Bluntman and Chronic's arch nemesis, Cockknocker (Mark Hamill), eventually cutting off his hand (in reference to Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back).
At this point, Justice enters the set to confess her love for Jay and admits her profession as a professional jewel thief. A nonchalant Jay forgives her and they kiss. Willenholly reappears with a shotgun, soon followed by Missy, Chrissy and Sissy. Justice and Sissy fight hand to hand, while Missy and Chrissy get into a gun battle with Willenholly. During the commotion, Jay and Silent Bob locate Banky Edwards and demand their money. After Banky refuses, Silent Bob breaks his silence and explains why Banky can be sued if he doesn't acquiesce to their demands. Banky finally agrees to give them half of whatever he makes from the movie.
After the fighting is over, Willenholly stands up, believing he killed Missy and Chrissy. Suzanne takes this opportunity to shoot him in the buttocks with a tranquilizer dart, incapacitating him. Justice uses the situation to her advantage and offers Willeholly an opportunity to get into the FBI by turning herself in along with Missy, Sissy, and Chrissy as long as she gets a reduced sentence and the charges against Jay and Silent Bob are dropped. He agrees and Justice tells Jay to wait for her. Banky approaches Jay and Silent Bob and tells them that they are now rich. Jay expresses his displeasure at the fact that, despite all of their efforts, they were still unable to stop the internet insults. They decide that the only way to achieve this is to beat up everyone who has insulted them, which they do.
After their revenge is complete, The Bluntman and Chronic Movie premiers back in New Jersey. One viewer refers to it as "a 90-minute long gay joke, like watching Batman & Robin all over again." After the big premier, Jay and Silent Bob put on a huge after-party with Morris Day and the Time providing entertainment.
Ten years after Clerks, and only several months after the events in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II, released in 2006, takes place. Now in their early 30s, Jay and Silent Bob had recently bought a car, but they were pulled over for driving with a deployed airbag. During the search, the police found a stash of marijuana and they were sentenced to six months of rehabilitation, where they become devout sober Christians.
Once out of rehab, they are clean, but they humorously still continue to deal but try to teach the word of God similar to evangelists. The Quick Stop that Dante worked at was burned down in a fire due to Randal leaving the coffee pot on, and he and Randal moved over to the Mooby's fast food restaurant. Jay and Silent Bob follow them there, and are up to their usual antics, such as dealing drugs and mooning people inside of the restaurant.
At one point during the movie Jay, knowing boredom is the first step to relapse, dances to the song "Goodbye Horses" by Q Lazzarus after Silent Bob puts it in the CD player. He parodies the exact same dance done by Buffalo Bill in The Silence of the Lambs, complete with the "tuck."
Near the end of the movie, they are jailed with Randal, Dante, and Elias, who hired a donkey show to celebrate Dante moving away. Jay and Silent Bob were charged for possession of drugs, which violated their probation. Randal has the idea to reopen the Quick Stop with Dante, but neither of them have the money, so Jay and Silent Bob offered them the Bluntman and Chronic movie royalty money they earned that will be needed to reopen the store. They lay down two conditions: they must be allowed to stand in front of the store whenever they want to (without having the police called on them), and Randal and Dante must perform oral sex and then go "ass to mouth". Regarding the latter condition, Silent Bob gives Jay a look of disgust, so Jay immediately rescinds it. After the Quick Stop is reopened, Jay and Silent Bob return right back where they started so many years ago. Jay is depicted at the end of the film wearing a sweater with "Justice" written on it in tape along with "TLF", the only reference to his erstwhile girlfriend at the end of the previous film. He again does the Buffalo Bill dance when "Goodbye, Horses" is played, but only the beginning part with the chap stick is shown.
Character is from: Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, They were in a Clerks Cartoon, and they had their own Comicbook for Bluntman and Chronic.
