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Post by Autumn Emelia on Jul 1, 2009 4:26:48 GMT -7
Anger coursed through my blood like white hot fire, eating at my central nervous system. It was a well known fact my parents hated me. I never was supposed to be born. Emilie, my twin, was the daughter that was supposed to be, I was an accident. Instead of one baby they got two, and they had to buy double of everything. Needless to say, growing up meant being ignored, hurt, even beaten on occasion. Emilie tried to protect me, we were best friends when we were children, always looking out for one another, helping when we had our problems. Now, after spending years in the Asylum with no-one but doctors who did fuck all, my vampire nature not working because someone knew what I was, well, I was free. More free than ever, and finding my old home did nothing to erase the powerful feeling of freedom. Though now I had to contend with hatred and revenge, which was good because I wanted to feel it. It was all I had left.
Old scents meant that Emilie wasn't there, whatever they did to her, I will fucking kill. No one hurt my sister, even though I was the more silent one, Emilie saved me more than I could count. Striding forwards, dressed in clothing created by my own sister, I kicked the door in to hear a scream from my mother as she stared at me, my fangs were not showing so it was difficult to tell what I was. "Em?" My heart sank as I knew what that meant, trying not to jump and kill, I remained calm and carefully walked forwards, seeing if she would change her mind. Funny, Em's heart was under her right eye, mine, was my left. A symbol known to just us two as I glanced around the front hall, the cream colored walls were the same along with the beige carpet, turning into the living room, a couch and a television that was on mute, everything the same. I couldn't take it, and forcing myself to swallow my snarl, I turned, seeing my father walking down the hall, bottle in hand. "You still drink." Statement.
He smiled, "Your not Em." My mom grabbed hold on him, staring at me as if I was a monster. "No, I'm not. So where is she." I stalked forwards, waiting to hear. They kept their mouths shut, and while I wanted to tie them to a chair, ducktape them and torture before setting them on fire, I was trying to outgrow that sort of thing. "Where the FUCK is my SISTER!" I snarled and screamed, they feared me, muttering they didn't know while staring each other furtively. That was enough for me to snap fully. Launching myself, I pulled my father, grabbed his wrist and pulled down, snapping bone that spiked through skin, splashing blood on me and the floor as he wailed in agony. My mom ran down the hall and locked herself in as I bite his neck, fangs splitting skin before I drank, and drank deeply. Feeling his heart beat slow down, I pulled back, staring in his eyes. "You never loved me. This is your payback." Twisting him around, both hands wrapped around his neck before snapping, his limp body falling to the ground with a thud.
With only movements a vampire could make, I followed the hallway, grinning and tapping on door with my fingernails. "Let me in mommy." No sounds but whimpering as I broke the door in half, sending shockwaves through my body, the door was splintered. "I-" Waving my hand shut her up. "No, you don't get to speak. You hated me, never wanted me, and now you don't know where the one thing in the world mattered to me, you don't know where she is. I want, I need my sister." I pulled my arms up, showing the thin scars and bite marks. "She saved my life, sometimes I wished that never happened, that I died. That would make you happy." Before she spoke, I kicked upwards, catching her jaw as her head snapped back, slumping to the ground. Both were dead, and with only cold satisfaction, I carefully moved back down the hall and into the living room. The fire was going, it was cool outside. That worked to my advantage. Reaching the fireplace, I knelt down and pulled the door open, grabbing the white hot coals with a hiss from my jaw at the pain.
Throwing the coals and burning wood, the items that it touched caught ablaze before I darted through the window, smashing glass that stabbed and kissed my skin. The air flowed through, fueling the flames as I walked, unknown of my destination, not knowing where I was headed. Hours passed, maybe days, I didn't know. This could all be part of my own mind, that maybe this wasn't real and I was still trapped. Maybe I wasn't real but someones own imagination in a twisted, fucked up world.
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Post by Emilie Autumn on Jul 2, 2009 1:53:38 GMT -7
Strange place. I thought to myself as I woke. It seemed to stir some ancient memory in me, but at the same time, that memory was just out of reach. I sat up, looking down at my clothes. Were they my clothes? They seemed so....old. Where was I? Who was I?
I stood, shakily, hunger bursting within. I brushed off my skirts, plural. It seemed I was wearing layers. I stilled, listening. Nothing, not even the beating of my heart. I didn't need to breathe, in fact I wasn't. I licked the corner of my lips. Copper. No, not copper, blood.
My eyes shot open. I remembered. What I was. A vampire, kindred. But the rest was blurry. The hunger, it was so fierce, so fresh. Like I'd never fed. Screams echoed in my mind, victims of the night prior. I smiled. Food, they were all food!
This place, this familiar and yet strange place seemed to haunt me. I was in a dark room, alone. The farthest reaches of the room were stained red, I could smell old blood. And a dank, musty smell. Underground. A basement?
I followed the scent of fresh air, tinged with fear, sadness, betrayl, loss. There were people here. Not just people, vampires too, others like me. I wasn't alone.
I don't think I was ever really alone, but it hurt to remember. Was I human once? Did it matter? My heeled boots were silent on the stone steps as I ascended. The scent of fresh, night air cleaner the higher I climbed.
Skirts bustling in the halls, chatter from other....inmates? Did I hear that word correctly, or was my mind playing tricks? This wasn't a prison. It didn't feel right. Voices, blending into one another, screams, someone screaming, calling out for her sister.
Sister.......why did that word make me feel so....so.....
I blinked, watching an orderly peek in small glass windows as he moved down the hall toward me. I was in the shadows, holding so still I knew I couldn't be seen. He was human, his pulse drumming in my ears. I could taste his sweat in the air.
As he neared, I stepped from the shadows. He looked at me, looked through me. "Come closer." I smiled, crooking a finger at him. His eyes seemed to lose focus, and yet he plodded toward me. I wrapped him in my arms and drank, my teeth lodged firmly in his neck.
Flashes, of another life. A mirror image. Me, but not me. Laughter. Hearts. Torn stockings, corsets. Curls and bows, ribbons. Tea. Sisters.
I howled, flinging the orderly's corpse away. Others, those behind the white doors with the small windows howled in return, echoing my cry. I sunk to the floor, crawling back into the shadows. Drawing my knees to my chest, I rocked back and forth, my mind slowly withdrawing until there was simply.....nothing.... Nothing but that mirror image. The me that wasn't me. Who was she?
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Post by Autumn Emelia on Jul 2, 2009 2:29:54 GMT -7
There were two bears waiting for me, somewhere, Suffer and Chaos, the two I'd grabbed to keep protect so they wouldn't be thrown away from my parents purging of the house when we were younger. Suffer was Em's, Chaos was mine, we made them, together. Even thinking sent waves of hurt and anger through me like a whip, hurting every nerve I ever had, where was she? Was she, dead? I think I screamed, silently in my mind until it tore violently from my jaw, a sound coursing through the darkening sky before the wind whisked it away. Coming along a small building, where I had been before, I smiled softly. Breaking the window, I reached in for a bag, slinging it on my back before continuing onwards.
"Where are you. I know your not dead, you can't be dead." I stalked through the lands, not knowing, having zero purpose in this life apart from finding the one that was bonded by blood. My heels dug into the ground with each step, nearly driving my feet through the solid concrete my anger was so high that it seemed my strength increased, or that could just be me. Em, where are you? I felt, lost and alone, cold like the winters day, knowing I had to keep looking, it seemed a daunting task, one fraught with despair and more loneliness. That was fine, I dealt with that all my life, ever since I was ripped from my twin and shoved in a place where my screams were no longer heard, where no one cared.
"You!"
A voice startled me that I whipped around, a white blur in the streets as my eyes scanned the edges for the source, a woman, garbed also in old Victorian era outfit was atop the building rafters, perched like one of those gargoyle statues, her eyes bored into mine as we stared at one another. Flashing a bit of fang, I snarled, indicating I was in no mood for idle chit chat. "What do you want?" Demanding sort of girl I was, but dammit, the less I carried on moving, the further away she was from me, and the more lost we would become. Wait a minute. Sniffing the air, I was shocked, she smelt like her, but wasn't her. "I really am crazy." I muttered, stepping back as the girl jumped from the roof and landed gracefully on the ground.
"You smell like her." Our voices entwined, speaking at the same time that I narrowed my eyes, holding up one finger. "Shut it. I'm first, you can't expect to jabber on when you spoke to me." I growled, a cold, low tinge to my voice. "You smell like me, like her. What the fuck, who the fuck are you?" Eyes flashed, my mood was dangerous. I wasn't wanting to be lied too or fucked over again. "You smell of her too. I am Veronica, one of the darling Bloody Crumpets." She spun, coming closer towards me as I chuckled, shaking my head. Oh yes, we were all mad here. "'We' smell the same. Who are you referring too?" In an attempt to sound polite when my voice was strained, I added her name. "Veronica."
"Emilie Autumn, my mistress and savior, trapped, alone." That was it for me. I knew the name easily enough, and grabbing onto the front of her corset, I virtually began dragging her along the street. "You are going to take me to her." Veronica winked, non-pulsed as I had grabbed her. Huh, she was an odd one, well she had to be if Emilie knew her. Just like that, Veronica began leading me through streets, heading into a sewer entrance, a valley of bridges crisscrossed along each other, the smell made me wrinkle my nose, not really wanting to go in there. "I have been wanting to protect her, get her away. But the white coats, I'm not a match for all of them. But two will fair better, especially if they think you are her." A distraction huh? I liked this girl, especially if this was the same Emilie we both knew and it wasn't a dream.
Carefully stepping onto the first archway, I pushed Veronica backwards as she attempted to pass me. Snarling, baring my fangs, irritated for no reason, I moved forwards, graceful, liquid movements as we headed towards our destination. Above us was the ceiling, soon a hole with bars barring access. Veronica pointed, "this is?" It better be, it seemed like hours since we had met and began this little journey here. Pulling Veronica to me, I climbed on her shoulders, pulling the bars with all my might until I heard a crack. The bars hadn't moved, but partway along was a hatch door that had opened up. "Do that again, I'll kill you." Jumping off I ran, leaping upwards through the door and grabbed the young guy that had opened it, unwittingly allowing us entrance. Biting down on his neck, I fed deeply, seeing the other girl in the corners of my eyes. She knew this place, that was for sure. But if she was here, like my sister, how did she escape?
Pondering thoughts, my hands pushed the dead guy through the hole, making a splash as I locked the door so it didn't attract attention. Standing, my tongue dashed over my lips, licking the rest of the blood as we made our way into the main part of the building. "This is a fucking Asylum." I nearly screamed, grabbing Veronica by the throat and pressing fingers tightly around her pale neck. "I should have known, for that, you-" I heard a yelp, and a nurse barreled into me, my grip on Veronica was loose, allowing her to yank free. "Emilie Autumn, patient 2205 has escaped!" Tackling the nurse, I grappled with her, rolling along the hallway as we fought, getting a clipboard shoved into my stomach that knocked the dead breathe from my lungs, trying to get the upper hand when Veronica swooped and snapped the nurses neck.
That was it for me. Taking the card key and the bunch of keys from her belt, ripping the cloth with it, I began running, Veronica trying to show me where to go. "I'm a vampire you fuck. I can smell." That seemed to make her quiet and wonder, allowing me to think clearly when I knew that the schizophrenic part of me would surface at any moment. It wasn't as bad as what some had it, but intensified when I became a vampire. Then, among the mass of white, hearing the doctors yelling from behind other doors as they tried to follow, I came upon a door that was highly secure, peering through the small window, it was like looking in a mirror. Fumbling with the keys, I dropped them, clunking towards the ground in a pile as Veronica picked them up, unlocked the door and pushed it open. Without speaking, I zipped the bag open, kneeling on the ground with it open at my feet, pulling out the two bears, throwing Suffer to Emilie.
"Keep guard." I ordered Veronica, feeling my hold on conscious thought start to slip. Pulling out Chaos, I held it upwards, hoping that maybe this would spark something, she was rocking back and forth, a blank, empty look. My heart panged for her. I'll kill them all,
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Post by Emilie Autumn on Jul 9, 2009 1:25:20 GMT -7
Spinning, spinning, a tidal wave, a whirlpool. Grinding teeth against the anguish, I bit back a scream, when everything changed. I stood, sniffing the air. That scent....so familiar. Like home. I turned, watching another speed down the hallway. I was running, toward myself. And yet I hadn't moved. Strange. I tilted my head to one side, my arm automatically reaching out and seizing the stuffed bear that sailed my direction. "Suffer...." The word came out in a hiss as I regarded the bear. I grinned, hugging him to me, cradling it like a child.
Suddenly, red-rimmed eyes, shot to the other's face. I snarled. "Why did you take her? Suffer is mine! There was another....once..... Where is she?" Tucking Suffer under my arm I charged, but not the other me, I charged the dark-haired one. She stiffened under my grip, my fangs inches from her neck as she relaxed, nearly swooning. Instead of biting, feeding, I ran my nose along her skin. "Veronica." She nodded as I licked a line along her neck. "Bloody Crumpet." I smiled, giggled, and turned to the other. I reached for her, for the bear she held high.... "Chaos?" My fingertips brushed the bear's fur, and images flooded my mind.
Twins, one doted on, one forgotten. Always sharing more with her sister, trying to make up for the lack of love from the parents. Making unique clothes, poetry, songs. She felt what I felt. So connected, almost like we were one. And then....separation. Like tearing one being in half, split down the middle. Nothing's whole, nothing shines. It's all dark, and covered in blood.
My memories were jumbled. Even as I stared into my own eyes, but they weren't my eyes, not really. Were they? I felt heat, my body was warm, sharp pin pricks in my neck, the taste of power flowing down my throat. Clarity, my sight was clearer, sounds sharper. And the hunger. Who made me what I am? Why can't I see his face?
I backed away from the other, a scream tearing up my throat. Men in white coats gathering behind Veronica and the other me. I crouched low, still holding Suffer in one hand as I growled at the interlopers. As one reached for the other me, I sprang, barging through to tackle him. A needle scraped my skin, I hissed in his face, breaking his arm, the needle skittering away. I gripped his head with both hands and snapped his neck. "Back away. Leave us!" The others retreated, but not far. No, they were always watching, waiting. Lurking in the shadows.
I turned, staying low, and gazed up at the other me. "I know you. Who are you? Who am I?" I heard violins in the distance, like an echo of the past. Such sweet and haunting melodies....
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Post by Autumn Emelia on Jul 9, 2009 2:01:56 GMT -7
She cradled the bear and that was when I relaxed. Muscles that were tense sagged and I felt like smiling as she regarded the bear. But then I tensed up again, arms rose to my face in defense, but a blow never came. "I didn't take her. I expected you to have her. Suffer was always yours." I replied, rather calm for someone like me, but I had to keep calm, had to be the more sane one right now. Em had deteriorated more since I last saw her, and such a powerful hatred aimed at all those who had hurt her, messed with her, it almost knocked me off my feet. Yet feeling no blows, I looked at Veronica as Em charged towards her, my own eyes arched. "You do know her." At least I didn't have to kill her. A fun, entertaining thought that was, but if she was Em's, then that meant off limits. I learned that early on in life. Mostly. "Suffer was yours. Chaos was mine." The bears we made together, funny thing, at least to me, we both lost each other and we both lost the bears.
Em sniffed Veronica and I stifled a giggle myself. Veronica responded with a lick and a giggle herself. It was clear that she was in love with my sister, those eyes never left Em's, holding nothing but love for the insanity Emilie. Partly, I was jealous. Em was always the loved one, me? I was the unwanted one. It wasn't like it was her fault, so I couldn't really blame her. I was feeling okay despite seeing my sister, Veronica was swaying on her feet, listening to something only her mind could hear when my head exploded into fine images, a piercing wail. Dropping the bear, I grabbed my head as I wobbled on my legs, a snarl tearing through my jawline. "No, not again, please no." I stammered, stepping back until I hit the wall where I slumped down, feeling the cold wall through my clothing and at the back of my head. Trembling, I snarled at anyone who came close, whether it was Veronica or Em, wanting nothing bu silent and solitude for my chaotic mind.
I managed to stand, I think, feeling Veronica shove Chaos into my hands as I held onto the bear tightly, with wide, cold eyes, white coats came in, Em tackled one and saved me from getting a needle in me, watching as Em snapped the guys neck before speaking. My mind screamed no! I wanted blood, my mind awash in a lost sea. Frustration tore at my limbs not knowing whether to jump at the ones retreating or drink from the snapped neck guy. I was so fucking confused! Attack, drink, stay, my mind a whir of thoughts, ever present and lingering in my mind. I gnashed my teeth, feeling them grow into fangs as they tore into my lip, spilling my own blood. "Your Emilie." I whispered, blank eyes turned to stare. "My name is, my name is Autumn." Shaking my head didn't dispel my mind warp. "We are twins. Emilie Autumn and Autumn Emelia." Sometimes I hated my name. My parents just changed around Emilie's name to get mine. Again, just goes to show you how much they never wanted a second child.
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Post by Emilie Autumn on Jul 10, 2009 6:06:34 GMT -7
I blinked, hunkered in the corner, cuddling Suffer to me like a lifeline. "Emilie." I fussed over Suffer's fur, then suddenly broke into a huge smile. I looked up to see my sister, my twin sister. She was still like me. Dead, undead, feeding on life itself. "Autumn." I smiled bigger, trailing my tongue over my fangs. I pulled her to me, hugging both her and our bears. I rocked, Autumn in my arms, and started to hum, while Veronica looked on. I had some form of clarity at the moment. But no idea how long it would last.
As if that fragment of clarity was simply a single thread of spider's silk, and someone had walked through it, I snapped. I didn't let go of the other me, the one I held. But I began to sing a haunting melody. If it meant something at one time, I couldn't tell you.
"It's not the time It's not the place I'm just another pretty face So don't come any closer You're not the first You're not the last How many more? Don't even ask You're one more dead composer
Do I need you? Yes and no Do I want you? Maybe so You're getting warm You're getting warm You're getting warmer oh Did you plan this all along Did you care if it was wrong Who's getting warmer now That I'm gone
Misery loves company And company loves more More loves everybody else But hell is others
I'm not for you You're not for me I'll kill you first You wait and see You devil undercover You're not a prince You're not a friend You're just a child And in the end You're one more selfish lover
Do I need you? Yes and no Do I want you? Maybe so You're getting warm You're getting warm You're getting warmer oh Did you plan this all along Did you care if it was wrong Who's getting warmer now That I'm gone
Misery loves company And company loves more More loves everybody else But hell is others
You're so easy to read But the book is boring me You're so easy to read But the book is boring me You're so easy to read But the book is boring Boring boring boring boring Boring boring me
Pray for me If you want to Pray for me If you care Pray for me If you want to Pray for me If you dare Pray for me If you want to Pray for me If you care Pray for me If you want to Pray for me you fucker If you fucking dare
Misery loves company And company loves more More loves everybody else But hell is others"
I still held Autumn and Suffer, she held Chaos and we rocked in unison, her humming and singing along with me. As I trailed off near the end, I shook violently, then burst into a fit of giggles. I stood, lightning quick, and turned to the wall behind us. It seemed to fragile, like paper. My fists pummeled the stone, bits of sediment shattering under the force. "I WANT OUT!!! I CAN'T STAND THIS! THE HUNGER, IT BURNS!!!!" I screamed, one note, long and loud.
((I had to post that song, it seemed so fitting for the situation....))
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Post by Autumn Emelia on Jul 12, 2009 2:00:31 GMT -7
Peering closer, unable to help the soft, almost hidden smile on my face she she repeated her name and began fussing with Suffer's fur. When she looked up, I still stood, unmoving because quite frankly, I didn't want to, when our eyes locked with each other, her speaking my name and smiling. Her fangs, my fangs, we were oh so similar, yet oh so different. Emilie was more insane than I was, she wasn't spinning out or being all crazy like before, it clued me in that she had clarity for the moment. Yet just like mine, I had no idea how long it would last, a few seconds, hours, but I was still going to be by her side all the same. We were sisters, twins, together. She suffered, I suffered. The way of life, that was how it went. I couldn't tell you anymore than that, unless you had a twin and knew, no, you would never know what this is like. Even if you had a twin. We were vampires, twins and insane. Can you say the same? Hmmm? Let that be your challenge.
We hugged, holding onto our bears while Emilie rocked, my body swaying along with as I didn't have any choice. Humming, I just held onto Chaos, fingers laced in the bears fur just as Emilie snapped. Veronica began to dance along to the song that Emilie started singing, the melody sticking in my head so that I began to hum and sing, alternating between the two through the song. Such fitting for this time, I wondered how she thought, before I decided I did not care. Us two vampires with our bears, appropriately named of course, singing, humming, then the song ended, like water being doused over a flame, the silence spread through the cell, with it, our voices. Veronica stopped dancing and twirling, giving a slight bow to Emilie before I felt Em pull away, giggling before moving to the wall, my eyes followed carefully, not letting her out of my sight as she pummeled against the wall, bits breaking off to fall to the ground, even dust which soon settled upon Suffer's fur.
"The white coats." My eyes wide and fearful as I jumped, almost running into Emilie, trying to get her to stop hitting the wall, voices from afar easily heard within the silence, sounding above the cries and wails of the Asylum. "Stop, stop. Shush, do you hear them?" My eyes, slightly crazed at the moment, peered upwards, head tilting to the side so I could hear better. "They come, like Angels riding on horses, ready to deliver the final blow. No, they are not angels, wearing masks to lie and deceit! Liars!" I screamed, grabbing Emilie's wrist while my other hand still had Chaos by the bears paw. "We have to go, we have to get out of here before they find us. Tip toe, tip toe, ready to find while we hide." I couldn't stay here, I refused! I left my Asylum months ago, I didn't want to be stuck in another one. Asylum's were hell itself, at least to me. Even with my sister, I couldn't, it just wasn't me. I had tasted freedom and I wanted it back. My heart screamed for it, my blood burned for it.
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Post by Emilie Autumn on Jul 18, 2010 0:06:05 GMT -7
"NO!" I panicked, pulling back. "This Asylum is mine. We're taking over. Veronica, alert the Captain!" I spun back, taking Autumn's wrist in a vice grip. "W14A, where's your tattoo?" I showed her my arm, with my REAL inmate's number tattooed on my flesh. "It heals quickly. Where's Wheelie?"
Captain Maggots, her orange hair sticking out in all directions from under her pirate's cap came running to us. "Aye aye, EA. I'll grab the tea, you get the rats. Wheelie? Oh....Aprella was shining him. APRELLA! Wheelie in the main port, all hands on bows. Swab the poop deck yer scabbies! ARG!" With a salute, she bounded off, leaving me with a sinister smile on my lips.
"Quickly Autumn, the rats must be hungry. SIR EDWARD!" I held Suffer close to me, watching as rats of all sizes and colors began to swarm around us. They came from cracks in the walls, scurrying under doors. The clamored in ratty speech as well as English, Sir Edward in fact, in very proper English. "Our darling Rat Queen, we've brought you some provisions." He raised himself to his hind legs, his paws clutching a button. Basil did the same, his smaller stature and light brown fur a lovely contrast to Sir Edward. In his paws he held scraps and bits of paper. "Yes! We know the way to the roof. I have the map." The other rats twittered in ascent.
"Autumn, we have to go. But first, we have to kill the men coming for us. The doctors, they lie, they hurt, the poke and prod. OH! The leeches, we can't forget the leeches! Poor little things. They'll need blood too. Have Contessa fetch them at once and meet us in......the operating room."
I kept hold of Autumn's wrist in one hand, Suffer in the other and moved for the door so fast, the whitecoats would never have seen. Kicking open the door with my bare feet, I snarled. I wanted my pink boots back. They were covered in sequins. I was infatuated with the glitter and sparkle and shine. It drew my attention much like blood. "NOW!" I yelled, letting Autumn's wrist free as I ran for the whitecoat nearest me, my mouth aimed at his neck.
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