Stop crying your heart out(open)

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

It was around midday when I finally stopped moving, sinking into a chair at a cafe and staring up at the board that had food and prices for each item. Today, I was wearing boots, a skirt and a tight top that I had last worn at school when I was changing into the werewolf. My belly button was re-pierced, one of the first things I had done when I woke up from near death. It was nice to feel the metal against my skin, made me think of when B tried helped me, before I fucked everything up. Looking back, I realized what a bitch I had been to her, she did everything she could to try and save me from this so called cursed life, as a werewolf and how did I repay her? By being selfish, shutting her out, ignoring her, hurting her. See, when I was close to giving into the whole werewolf instinct thing, I wanted to kill her. I was still human and I wanted to rip her into shreds, tasted her blood, turn her into what I was. I feel bad but I couldn't help it. Or I could but didn't want to. Eh fuck it, who cares. I didn't end up killing her so no harm done right? Thats how I looked at it. We were both alive, both werewolves, we had no parents. Life was good, at least thats what I kept telling myself.

During the morning I had woken up, left B at the house and went into town. Big mistake, do you know how many fucking people are around at that time? Jeez, fuck. It was like a mass of people just walking around like fucking zombies. Shopping for shit that would cost a damn fortune. I felt nervous and edgy, I hated people so it was dumb of me to come here alone. My emotions were through the mill and I ended up walking around with fangs extending from my mouth from the constant flashing of anger and other extreme emotions that welled up inside me. I had bitten my tongue twice to stop myself from lashing out. In the end, I yelled at some jerk who pushed into me and was kicked out of the shop. Then it was the fun wait at the chemist shop, waiting for people to get out of my way so I could grab pain killers and get outta there. I had been getting headaches alot lately which was really starting to piss me off. Hopefully these pain medication would stop them early because I really wasn't going to go to the doctor. 'Yes hello. I get kick ass headaches and was wondering if that was because I was a werewolf?' Yea, that wasn't a conversation I was going to have anytime soon. Straitjacket anyone? Lock me up in a rubber room? Yep, thats what might happen if I tell the wrong person.

Wait, there was someone I could go to. Why I didn't think of it before astounds me. Arwen, the lycan I had met in the forest! I could take B with me and let her meet Arwen, that should be interesting. Arwen was a friend, B was my sister, they should get along(thats what I was hoping for anyway). I would change on the next full moon and call for her, that should work. If not, there were other ways of tracking her(duh, werewolf remember? heightened senses and shit, I can sniff her scent and track her that way). Thinking and becoming lost in my own thoughts, I hear someone come over to me, asking for my order. Snapping into reality, I allow a slight smile to pass my lips before regarding her coldly. "Didn't you see I was busy?" I ask with a snarl. Okay, busy thinking but that wasn't the point. When I opened my mouth, my fangs were clearly seen. I watch her take a step back and I laugh, standing up. "What, you look like you've seen a ghost or something." She had turned pale and mouthed the word werewolf. Now how did she know that? Curious, I grab her and pull her with me as I cross to the exit, kicking open the door and throwing her into the little alleyway behind the cafe. "How did you know?" I demand. When I wanted to know something, I had to know then and there. None of this fucking around shit. I scented fear on her, and damn right she should be afraid. I was Ginger Fitzgerald, a god damned fucking force of nature! Right then, I knew I would have fun.

She began to cry and I roll my eyes. Sappy chicks, I hated them. "Tell me!" I demand again, moving closer,with my fangs showing. Did she want to die? As she looked at me, I wanted to rip into her, taste her blood. "My mother. She was one." I stop walking, thinking hard. So her mother was a werewolf huh? Did this young girl inherit anything wolfish? Looks like I needed to do a test. "Interesting." I walk past her, my boots making slight noise on the ground. I was sore from moving all day but I had strength enough to fight if it came to that. "Weak. Your mother would be ashamed." Had I provoked her? I wasn't looking back to find out. I relied on my senses to know when she would attack or if she would just go back inside and forget this ever happened. 1, 2, 3, I began to silently count, itching for a fight. I bit my tongue, tasting my own crimson blood. Waiting, this waiting game sucked. I wasn't good with patience. You wanted patience, go to Brigitte. I was the one who wanted everything to happen without waiting if you know what I mean.

I feel the hairs on the nap of my neck stand up, and then woosh! I feel claws on my back, being pushed towards the ground. Yup, werewolf, she had changed. "Thats more like it. Feisty aren't ya?" I grin, putting my hands on her dark brown muzzle. It was time for me to show this weakling what I really was! Slowly, the changes begin, white fur sprouted on my body, fingers curling into paws, nails hardening and extending. My fangs grow bigger, jutting from my mouth and my face extends outwards, turning into a muzzle of the wolf. My ears, tipped and upwards, turned as the other wolf snarled at me. Two could play at that game, so I snarl back, my eyes cold and my body eager for a blood bath. Then I jump, pinning her to the ground, my fangs inches away from her neck. I bite down, hard, feeling warm blood splash into my mouth. My claws rip into her stomach, ripping away fur from the skin. I feel her bite into me and howl as pain rippled through my shoulder. My back paw kicks at her, latching on and doing damage to any lower region it could touch.

[Xander Harris]

Xander was enjoying his brief holiday he'd decided to take, he wanted a break from the monster mash of Sunnydale and also wanted to find a place that he could buy stuff to bring back for Willow and Buffy cos he couldn't leave town without making sure he brought the two of them back something. So he'd done the simple thing that'd earn him more brownie points than ever, he bought them shoes. Shoes should earn him a hug or at least a thank you, only problem was now he had to carry them. There were two pairs for each of them and he wanted to make sure he'd gotten the right size before which led to a lot of fun sneaking and a quick excuse to Buffy about him trying to be nice and use this new anti-foot odor powder, he was proud of himself for that one.

He carried the awkward bags carefully down the street, they weren't heavy but they were very awkward, OK so he'd gone a little overboard and bought himself a few goodies to, including a pair of those glasses with the eye's on springs, he'd remove on later to complete the look. He couldn't wait to get them to his hotel room so he could stop bashing them into phone poles and walls and occasionally people, he'd said 'Sorry' like 84 times in the last 20 minutes. Then he heard a growling "OK I really hope that's a puppy" he said, before hearing it again and knew "That's no puppy"

He ran towards the source of the noise, grabbing a piece of wood on the way. What was it with people leaving perfectly good pointy pieces of wood lying around? He ran towards the sound and heard it getting louder as he got near a little alleyway near a cafe. He rounded the corner and nearly screamed, but stopped himself. Seeing two werewolves fighting to what could possibly be the death was not something Xander needed, especially since he had no silver bullets handy, just a found semi stake and a slight panic attack. Next time he went on a holiday he was so dragging Buffy along.

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

We kept at it, snapping and snarling. I bite harder, fangs sinking in deeper and deeper, the other girls blood splashed in my mouth, I hungrily lap it up. It filled my belly and spurred me on more as I latch my claws into her stomach, ripping skin and fur as I pull back. The girl wolf drops to the ground, panting heavily and bleeding from her neck and stomach. There was a slim chance she would die, but I wanted to finish her off. As I launch at her neck for the final bite, my fur stands on end as I smell a human near. I stop, turning around at the male who dared to approach us. He had a piece of wood in his hands and I wanted to laugh. Wood would not hurt me, and I snarl, my lips pulled back, my fangs show. I move forward, white fur rippled, muscles coiled and ready for another battle. The fight with the girl was weak, she was pathetic. No match. She lacked the will to battle to the death and her giving up made me want to throw up. Years of hurt, pain and being bullied had made me more feisty, so I kinda expected others to be the same. "Grghhhh." I begin, remembering I was a wolf so he wouldn't understand me. Gah, that meant I had to change back. Not amused.

As I began to change, I felt teeth around my arm, and I look down more amused than ever. The other wolf was trying to hurt me, but her teeth barely ripped into my flesh. Pushing her off with one hand, I growl again. This growl meant one thing; Do that again and I'll rip you to shreds. As she quickly let go and changed back, I did the same. Skin appeared, the tail disappeared. Fur shrunk back and ears became my own. Soon, I was naked in the alleyway, the girl had run off and I couldn't help but smirk. When she was out of my sight did I turn to the male and regard him coldly. "What do you want?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip. I knew full well I was naked and I looked around for my clothing. They were slightly ripped, but they would work until I got home. "That piece of wood ain't gonna hurt me, don't even try it." I glare and bend down, covering my body and picking up my clothing, making sure each piece was still there. Thank god, because if this guy was a perve, he wouldn't see much anymore.

Pulling on my clothing, I see the girl walk back to me. "I'm sorry." She whispers and I shake my head. "You started it, I finished it. Weak. Go be sorry to someone who gives a fuck." I'm sure this was startling to anyone. Here was a 16 year old girl, swearing and being nasty to someone who was apologizing. If anyone had a problem they could come to me. Mind you, they may get their throats ripped out but that wasn't really the point now was it? "So, who are you?" I finish getting dressed and I ignored the girl. My eyes and focus was on this male who had witnessed to werewolves fighting. I should kill him so he couldn't repeat what he saw. I advanced before stopping, there could be too many witnesses around which would make matters worse. So much worse.

[Xander Harris]

Xander stared blankly as the werewolf spotted him, oh god he was gonna die. Why hadn't he written a will for Will when Will told him to? What will Will say, will Will wail when wondering whatevers wander across his mangled corpse and his body is shown on the 6 o'clock news. He held his breath nervously and hoped that maybe this was a friendly werewolf, with nice manner and no interest in eating one eyed men, oh who was Xander kidding he was as good as dog food.

He watched as the werewolf changed, he hadn't ever actually seen a werewolf change, he'd seen Oz in the library either as Oz or as Werewolf Oz but Oz had always done the decency of making sure Xander didn't physically see the transformation, but now Xander was watching it, and boy did it look painful to the max. He was oh so glad he didn't have that affliction. Then he noticed her nudity and after a split second kicked his gentleman side into overdrive and decidedly looked away. "Want? nothing, I'm a nothing wanter wanting nothing from nobody" he rambled, his nerves shot to the depths of his shoes, OK he was panicking. He threw the stake aside, not looking where it landed, he heard a meow and a hiss. He looked and saw a very ticked of cat running "Must of landed on the tail" he said.

Xander thought about backing up, hell he would have if he wasn't completely paralyzed in fear. "OK I seem to have picked a bad time here so I'm gonna grab my shopping and run in some direction, once feeling returns to my leg" he said with a please-don't-kill-me smile plastered on his face.

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

Did I believe him? Not really, than again I barely believed anyone. "Your rambling." I noted, wondering if he thought I was going to kill him. Not likely, he so far managed to avoid pissing me off. And there were people coming closer with each passing second so I wasn't going to change, kill and have people walk in on us. I would have to kill them too and then I would be more in the shit. Hearing the cat, I growl slightly and stop, cutting the growl off in mid snarl. I saw his smile, knowing full well what it meant. I could have fun with this. As I thought of ways to carry on making him think I was going to hurt him, people came into view which made the hairs on my neck stick up. I hated being around too many people. Walking up to the male, I grab his arm. "I'm not going to kill you. But come with me, I hate being around so many people." I look over my shoulder and can't help but feel threatened. A few girls, dressed in mini skirts and boots with jackets, two men in jeans and a jacket, the girls were giggling, the guys were looking like tough jerks they probably were. Years of being bullied installed a defense mechanism in me so it wouldn't take long for me to want to kill them.

Letting go of his arm, I stalk forwards, feet making barely any sound on the ground. I cross the street, ignoring the cars that zip past, honking their horns as I walk in the middle. "Fuck you." I spit, walking along the hot concrete before the cool grass touches my feet and I enter the park. The trees offer shade which I gladly take, glaring at a young woman who quickly took off. I didn't know if the male was following, and I realized I didn't care. If he followed that was good, if not, not worries. I could find more fun elsewhere, I was good at that. Maybe change and scare a couple of kids in the park, that would certainly fulfill my happy meter. Mean much? Hehe, I knew that would be cruel, but no one could tell me off or anything. No one had power over me, not anyone in this fucked world.

[Xander Harris]

Xander looked at her, wide eyed and terrified "Ramble? Yeah I'm a rambler from way back, I tried some anti-ramble cream but it just gave me hives" he said, slowly backing up...is what he really wanted to do, he wanted to run off and pretend he'd seen nothing. But running for your life is kinda hard when someone has a grip on your arm. "OK, coming along, I can do that, just promise me that arm stays attached" he said, the terror in his voice clearer than he was ever gonna get in this situation.

When she let go Xander breathed a huge sigh of relief, but when she went across the road he thought for a moment, this would be the prime opportunity to run, he could turn metaphorical tail and run for his scared little life, but if she killed anyone he'd feel deeply responsible. He summoned up the courage that was making it's home on his shoes and ran after her. He nodded polite apologies to someone who beeped their horn at him and caught up with the woman "OK, mind filling me in on what the sitch is? Cos, and stop me if I'm wrong, you're a werewolf who's able to change at will. Which OK cool but also creepy and have I mentioned the whole you could kill someone who doesn't deserve it by accident" he said, and also started think, maybe running would have been a better plan.

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

I couldn't help but laugh, he was pretty funny. That alone would allow him to live a little longer. "Your arm stays attached. As long as you don't fuck with me, you will live." I lean more against the tree trunk, feeling rough bark underneath my jacket. Tapping my foot on the ground, I glance up at the sky as he speaks. To the casual observer, it would look as if I wasn't listening, yet that was the opposite. I was carefully taking in what he was saying, wondering how he knew about werewolves in the first place. Looking back at him, who he had followed just like I said, or asked, whatever, and was quite glad that he did. "You know about werewolves?" I arch an eyebrow and peer closer at him, wondering what exactly he was. Surely he had to be more than human to know what I was. Then again, B knew about werewolves when she was fully human. So, this male might just be an ordinary human who knew about things that were, well, abnormal.

"Yes I'm a werewolf that can change at will." I am calm which surprised me, normally I got rather snappy. "I'm not going to kill you. I feel you are no threat. Besides, kill you by accident?" My eyes flash with anger. "I do not kill by accident." I press a hand against my hip and begin to walk around him, making sure he wasn't able to go anywhere. "When I'm the wolf, I know what I'm doing. I remember everything." Ack, this was boring me, I needed to do something otherwise I would probably kill him, just to keep boredom at arms length. "Tell me, how do you know what werewolves are? Have you encountered one of us before." I was curious, and maybe he could tell me a little more. At least that would keep him alive too. Having power like this, this male knowing I could kill him in an instant. God it was good. I think it was going to my head.

[Xander Harris]

Xander nodded, He understood exactly the situation he was in. He'd dealt with a werewolf before and knew how vicious they could be, especially if they decided to go all killey on you. And Xander tended to enjoy life so pissing of a werewolf that could cause his sudden brutal death? Not on the cards. He nodded again, he really didn't know what to say which was odd in itself, but his abject horror and fear were doing a great job of shutting him the hell up.

Xander was stunned, this whole thing went against what little he knew about werewolves. Oz had always said that he remembered nothing about what the werewolf time was like, could Oz have been lying to them about that? No Xander couldn't believe that, he hadn't ever known Oz to outright lie, especially on something as big as that. "Yeah, I know about werewolves, My best friends ex-boyfriend was one so mucho research was done on the topic" he said, well he knew some stuff anyway, Willow knew most of it. "The only thing I'm now not sure about is the memory thing, cos that guy I knew told me and...well all of my friends basically...that he had no clue or control over what he did as the hairy fangy guy he became once a month. So you're telling me you can? Was this a learned thing or were you able to control it from day one?" he asked, he figured if he was gonna have to be in this situation than he was gonna take advantage of it if he could.

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

"When I was bitten, I began to slowly change. Four weeks later, I had become a werewolf and was impaled on my own dagger. After it was pulled from me, I started to heal and was able to change from wolf to human and back again. So, at the beginning, I couldn't control the changes. But now, I can. I don't know how or why, if it was something carried in the wolf that bit me." I shrug, rolling my shoulders and feeling slight tension come off like water rolling off a ducks back. I place my right hand on my right hip, gripping ever so softly to someone seeing, but it was hard enough for me to feel. I hoped it was enough to stop myself from growling. I was supposed to be the one asking the questions, deciding whether he lived or died. And now he was asking me shit, he should feel very lucky I haven't ripped him into fucking pieces! I was actually doing pretty good with the whole non killing, if I do say so myself. Good restraint.

"Some are able to remember, to control, others are not. I'm not sure how it works." I remembered Arwen, she had way more control that what I had. "So who was it that got bitten that you know?" I ask, was it the same one that bit me? All these pieces were falling together, like bits of a puzzle. If it was the same one, well I would have to tell him that death had claimed. Well, Sam's truck anyway. I remember the slamming of the truck into the wolf, smashing it into bloody pieces.

[Xander Harris]

Xander nodded, it was a really cool story, albeit a little odd. "OK that's kinda cool, in a slightly creepy sort of way but still very cool, kudos on learning the control thing" he said genuinely impressed. He'd known about Oz trying to learn control, and also was aware of Oz's failure to maintain the control and Oz was one of the most controlled guys Xander had ever known so for this woman, who's name Xander was kinda scared to ask, to learn that much control was just amazingly cool.

Xander looked directly at her, hoping maybe putting his trademarked friendly face on would keep him alive "Oh you mean the best freinds Ex? His name was Daniel Osbourne, but we just called him Oz. He was lthe most monosylabic person in the world, I think he used like 10 words a day, if that. But he was kinda cool. Haven't talked to him in ages though" he said, 'And may never get a chance to talk to him again if this ends badly' he thought quickly afterwards. "Why, do you know him? Is there some kind of Werewolf chatroom on the net or something?" He sasked, not meaning to be offensive or anything, just insanely curious

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

I smile. lips curling up halfway as I heard him speak. His first words made me think, even though it was a simple compliment. At first, I wasn't able to control anything. The urges, the instincts, the kill. Well, the first kill was Norma, that stupid barking fucking mutt. "I never could control at first." I reminded him. "Jesus fuck, I just about killed my own sister." Okay, I left that part out when I was speaking but I figured he didn't need to know that little detail. Maybe I was wrong. "Oz." I would never know the name of the wolf that bit me, but somehow I knew that Oz wasn't the one who sunk his teeth and claws into my flesh, making me one of the werewolves. "He wasn't the one that bit me. I'm sure of it." I glance into Xander's eyes, realizing I didn't even know his name, nor did he know mine. "I would like to meet him, if I ever got the chance." I was sure I could track him, us both being a werewolf and all. "No, I don't know him." I gave a little chuckle. "Werewolf chat room? Never thought about that." I would certainly check it out, hey you never know right?

"So, this guy Oz, couldn't control himself when it came to full moons right?" I was sure it was all in what werewolf bit you, but right now I didn't have proof. I sigh, it was all too confusing. Brigitte would understand more, she was the smarter one, the one who took things in. I was mostly letting this pass over my head. "I don't know your name." I chew my bottom lip. "I'm Ginger." I added, being what people would call nice. Yuck, this wasn't something I was used to being. I was going to have to kill something later just to feel better.

[Xander Harris]

Xander wasn't that stunned by the revelation that she couldn't control it at first, and it probably showed on his face "Yeah, I'm fairly sure most Werewolves aren't in control at first". Xander breathed a sigh of relief "He'll be happy about that, he always made sure he never bit anyone, guess his records still perfect on that count" he said, smiling a little at the thought that Oz may still be around, Oz was really the first cool guy friend Xander had had, well Jesse but Jesse was never cool and some of Oz's coolness had rubbed off on Xander...OK that sounded wrong. "Well I figure if teenagers and old people can have their own chartrooms, why not werewolves?" he said seriously in his serious tone that rarely appeared.

"Not at first, for the longest time he was alway in his cage during the full moon, his choice by the way. He did eventually get a sort of grip on it but he kinda lost control, nearly killing my best friends new girlfriend" he said, he figured it wasn't to much detail to give. He smiled "I'm Xander, It's a pleasure to know your name Ginger. Lucky I'm not allergic to Ginger isn't it?" he said with a slight laugh that was dying fast, probably just the nerves making his jokes suck.

[• Ginger Fitzgerald]

I understood why someone wouldn't want to bite another, especially as a wolf. But I bit, well, killed more often than I bit. Biting someone would transfer the virus to them, making them what I am. And I didn't like that fact, knowing someone else was a werewolf, one of us. Us, meaning Brigitte and I of course. Sure there were more werewolves, but they weren't all bitten by the same werewolf, some were bitten by different species. At least I held onto that believe, otherwise I would want to hunt, and kill, simply because they would be one of us. The same. "Some are." I contradicted him. Arwen, I thought she always was able to control it, I never actually asked her. Some other day. I decided. I was sure to see Arwen again, besides, I could just run through the forest, see if she is there. Not to mention I could call.

"A cage? Huh, kinky." I mutter before being serious. "Why would you want to be caged, yes I know about the not wanting to bite. But I mean, not being free." I was trapped in the bathroom thanks to Brigitte, I went more insane than I was and managed to break free. Wolves don't like being caged, but I figured it was all to do with the person. If Oz wanted it, perhaps his wolf managed to realize that thats the way it was going to be. "He could of embraced it. Maybe that would have quelled the beast inside." Maybe, then again, I was never too sure. I was still new to this game. "Xander huh? I'm guessing you weren't exactly popular at school." It was a guess and not because of his name. He had a pretty wicked name. But the jokes, some were okay, but the next one was just a little be bad. Well, I wasn't a comedian anyway so my opinion wouldn't do shit.